This morning, I was really upset since I wondered why Saibaba is confusing me with some strange dreams. While walking out of office with my friend, I told him, I wrote an article sitting until 1 at night but later, got it unpublished this morning. He asked me about the dream which made me do it? I told him, it was as if someone comes in bike and took off the ID card tag from her. I felt, may be, writing about her Sai devotion will bring problems to her at workplace.
He said “That could be because I always told the girl that she must not be here as she’s good in academics and encouraged her to continue with management studies.” He added that I have interpreted the dream wrongly. His explanation convinced me but I told him, I shall publish it some other day. May be, if I could get permission from her or if Sai shows me a better dream. This issue was really bugging me a lot. Very rarely I take the completed article back to draft mode and hide them in StarSai.
Later, he changed his place. I told him, I was offered similar place to keep as editing room but clearly denied because I can’t live in a place without windows and people. I felt it was like a jail but did not tell him. he he…. My parents tell me that I am not social and that I don’t speak to anyone. Honestly, I like to see people even if I don’t talk to them. Sai himself did not choose to live in forest. He choose to live in a little village, met people, accepted their hatred and also love. Similarly,
We must be very much a part of everyone’s life and everyone must be a part of our life.
*That’s Venkat’s quote number 2823. Ha ha…
Anyway, he has to live with it and we plan to print super cool posters for the room. I told him that I miss that Sai with flowers and thankfully I took a photo of the statue the day before. He’s a very simple and ordinary looking Saibaba. Face won’t be attractive but he looks thoughtful. Very caring kind of Saibaba.
One of the most embarrassing part of writing about my life and experiences here is that others have advantage of knowing all that’s happening with me and hence they know what I am up to but I never know anything that’s happening in their life. I get really bothered these days about this but if I keep worrying about what others might think, I can never do anything for Sai or myself. People think and speak. I have to be myself.
In the evening, my Ma called me to come home as as my Father wanted to buy something from Shop. So I came early and while traveling, my Father kept telling to drive this way and that way. I yelled at him saying be calm while I drive but he never changes. ha ha….Later, I felt he’s just telling me and I must take it casually. Once again, the mirror hit on a van as I rode fast. He asked me not to worry about it.
We went to Saibaba temple. My Father went in for Aarti while I claimed up the terrace to offer garland to all 5 Saibaba statues. More than 5 devotees including the flower shop anna and the priest told me “Why you did not come last wednesday? The flower was drying as it wasn’t offered”.
I told that I had a train to catch on the same night and could not make it to temple. I turned to Saibaba and said “Baba, only one week I did not come. I thought you will manage will someone else to offer flowers”.
I took some photos of one of the statue on terrace of Nagasai Mandir. This Sai is truly thoughtful. As if he’s thinking about you and planning to find the right solution for your problem.
This the relationship between Sai and me. We eat, speak and sleep together. This is love.
Later, when we reached home, my Mom was annoyed both me and my Father forgot to buy what she expected. She immediately started shouting. I told her “You will never shout like this before but now a days, your physical pain is changing your nature”.
She agreed to it and smiled.
As my parents get old, what ever they do is annoying me a lot. Probably, they just have me and I have to accept it. I usually argue with them but today I felt that I must learn to be kind to them even when they are harsh to me. I am fed-up these days. I wish to smile even when my Pa and Ma speak in a way that irritates me.
Being kind doesn’t take much effort. We just have to ignore bad qualities and accept good qualities in our parents.
I believe Sai will make me a better person by making me be more kind to my parents.