During Raksha Bandhan ( August 18th 2016), I received the below mail and photograph from my Sai friend Prita. After that, I wrote few thought process happening in me.
Om Sai Ram..
This year, like every other, I celebrated my Rakshabandhan day with our beloved Baba. Got him dressed up for the occasion. Took of the last year’s rakhi. Set up the thali with lamp, sweet, kumkum and akshat. Did his aarti and put tilak. Decorated with akshat and tied the new rakhi. After that I fed him sweet. Though a brother sister relationship doesn’t need any specific occasion or reason to celebrate, still Rakshabandhan holds a special place in the hearts of all sisters and brothers. Like all other festivals, the joy of having someone to care for and to make someone feel special is unparalleled.
Ever since my childhood I used to wait excitedly for this special day, select which rakhee for whom and what sweets to get. The aarti, tilak, akshat and sweets for all my brothers one after the other in sequence. The last but not the least, the gifts I would be loaded with! The brothers would flaunt their rakhis while I would flaunt my gifts. On a serious note, we never missed out the all fun and enjoyment that would be in the air. My mother used to cook meals for all which we would eat till our fill. And then we would wait for the next rakhi to come about.
With passing years, we have been growing up and for various reasons people have moved across cities, states and countries. Time and journey of life has changed the dynamics and priorities. Initially the postal and courier services helped sending rakhis with personalized handwritten notes. But with time they became increasingly cumbersome. Then the age of internet shopping set in. With time I started missing having a thali to set up.
Once on the day of Rakshabandhan, I was missing having anyone to tie rakhi and was feeling sad and lonely. As I sat reminiscing on past memories, it suddenly occurred to me that I have Baba! He is my Savior and Protector.. Just like I want my brothers to be. He is someone I love and care for, so there could not be anything better than celebrating rakhi with him!!
That year I had no sweet at home. So I made a toffee. And to my utter surprise, I found that on the same day Baba had published one of my posts on one of his blogs. It was like he heard me and accepted my proposal to become my brother.
Ever since year after year I make it a point to tie a rakhee for Baba. He hears all my worry talks as much as my silence, never leaves me alone and gives me the strength to deal with life. He has been my brother is the truest of the sense- through love and fights and highs and lows.
On this occasion I wish all of you a very happy rakshabandhan. May all your relationships blossom.
Om Sai Ram!
Hope you like this friends.
Getting scared that I might hurt someone
Now a days, I write a lot about people in office and experiences related to it. Its 6.50 A.M now and few minutes before, I had a strange dream. I could not interpret the dream but felt that Saibaba wants me to be careful about writing such articles. I also make fun of girls whom I know at work place. There was this new girl in my team which made it 3 girls in the team. So I teased them naming you are “Ganga, Yamuna and Cauvery”. By evening, I felt really bad of myself for taking too much rights and making fun of girls at work. What if I continue to speak causally like this and hurt someone?
I went near this girl to analyze if they felt OK or bad of the way I made fun and found they took it light. I don’t know to be silent. Wish I become an introvert rather than often speaking and irritating others.
In 2012, someone made a stick drawing of girls and I only photographed them. One of this girl asked me who drew it? I simply laughed for which she cursed me. I think 2 girls cursed me. It was really painful for me because I don’t want any girl to say words to me. Already I am suffering and now I must not give chance for any girl to curse me. Its really unnecessary.
Yesterday, I took photograph of a girl who had offered flowers to Saibaba near her. I like this Sai very much and told my friend “He’s doing something to me” …”The way the flowers were offered”. I shall once again take photos someday when lighting is good with better mobile as my mobile isn’t good for photography.Yesterday, I took in hurry as I don’t want anyone to see.
Later, in the evening, I my friend dropped me in Saibaba colony in his car. We were speaking a lot about Sai. He asks lots of questions which makes me realize there’s so much to clarify about Sai devotion. One of this was “Why we call him “Sairam” though his name is Sai Baba?. I told him about the difficulties Narasimha Swamiji faced in 1940’s,50’s to make people understand Sai is beyond all religion and he’s not a Muslim. He has even given darshan as Lord Rama to few of his devotees. So to prove that he popularized chanting of “Sai Ram”.
We also spoke about this girl and I told him, “Should I use the photo I took in my Site?” because I plan to write an article about it. She said “You can also write about this girl as she’s a good devotee”.
I came home, lit lamps and wrote a very beautiful, full length article named “Pushpanjali – Why some people are crazy about Sai?“. He he…. that’s what I observed about this girl and based on what my friend tells me.
I posted it at 1 o clock and unpublished it at 7 this morning. I really got scared after the dream I had. I think Saibaba tells me “Better ask permission from this girl if its OK to use the photo and write few words”. That makes more sense because these days, people are sensitive. There are few limitations when I write about experiences from office environment especially in a place where the cultural setup is still in 1990’s. he he….We never know how they take it. Further, I doubt who’s following StarSai at work? So I must be careful.
When ever I mention a girl in my team, I tell her after I completed it because I can edit the part which she doesn’t feel comfortable with. Once, she told me thank God you didn’t write my name.
I don’t know this girl near my friend personally to ask for permission. So I shall see if I can ever speak to her about it someday in future or if Sai blesses me with another positive dream, I shall re-publish the article.
I am really depressed and upset today because of the dream Sai showed me this morning. I told Sai not to confuse me and give me clarity about what he wants to convey?
I am really hurt by your unclear guidance Sai.
Edit – May be, Sai only said something positive but I did not understand. I have other plans for my project which I desire gets implemented soon by Sai grace.