Its going to be friday morning 16th july 2010 , when i write this article with tears in eyes and looking at the samadhi mandhir photo of shirdi sai baba with the light of my monitor. I can’t see much i know sai is looking at me.
After years of sai seva on a day to day basis and personally writing to thousands of sai children , helping them follow path of light, i can’t bear when a sai devotee can’t understand what i have been trying to do.
Sai won’t let the world misunderstand StarSai and venkatraman
100 or 1000 years from now , when i am not alive too , i know starsai will be helping sai children in the path of light and its not over. I have just began …
To the thousands of sai devotees who visit starsai.com , its just another website and to one man its life. I have shed my tears , years of patience, hardwork and life time of commitment in what i do in sai temple i love and also in StarSai. Its not what you see here as articles and photos of saibaba friends. Its the sufferings and hardships i have gone through for these words to emerge in me by grace of sai saraswati.
Most sai children find starsai useful . some see it as a part of life , few sai devotees has experienced immense blessings and changes in their life through my words in StarSai , and few have become close to sai through my other works for sai children and very few who might see it otherwise. They can move on with their personal love on sai but when they hurt me .
I have to answer .
I am not answering this to prove i am right but to convey very humbly what i am trying to do with “StarSai” which is just another website for few to come , comment as they wish and leave.
If someone can see this website as full of Venkatraman mantra saying, I did this, i did that. Do this Pooja..do that Pooja…too many confusions and very less focus on Sai, i wish they first read this clarification. Make sure u read this article fully.
StarSai itself is the relationship between Sai and Sai children.
Star – we can’t count sai devotees like the stars in sky.
Sai – One master. Our guru..our saint – Our sweet Sai
The connection between Sai and his devotees is StarSai. -Apart from the vision i had in 2003 and the message i got from Sai in 2007 during meditation , this could be the simple meaning of STAR SAI.
Why i write about me and my life in StarSai :
When i write about my problems, how sai helped me and how i am devoted to sai even when things dont work out makes other sai devotees realize , ok there’s someone like me and i also must not loose hope. Its just a way to make the connection with every simple sai devotee who is in normal family life , who is devoted to sai and who’s desires may or may not be fulfilled.
When i write about me , honestly i make the connection subconciously between the devotee who reads and Saibaba of Shirdi
So when i write about myself, my sufferings and problems of my friends , parents etc it make sai children feel a human touch and this has certainly helped thousands of shirdi sai baba devotees to identify themselves and see where they stand in life . Probably when i am successful too , i will be writing about how sai helped me and how sai is powerful enough to help his children.
My Life is StarSai :
The painful fact is, beyond what i am going through, i see my prime goal in life is to work for StarSai to the extent that if at all i get married , i wish the girl shares my work in StarSai, from writing articles to replying mails of sai children. I wonder if it happens but to me this is a life time commitment.
6 years of StarSai – my love, life and soul can’t be misunderstood by the world
i have Personally helped thousands of sai devotees by spending every single day writing to sai children and have been doing it for years now. Someone who is retired professionally, old enough to be in spiritual path can do it or someone who decided to leave their other responsibilities and build a temple for sai alone can do this . Where us, by sai grace , i started starsai when i was 25 in 2004, the time many youngsters will be enjoying life . I have managed to struggle in my career and also keep doing my work for sai.
There are days i come from saibaba temple and start writing a article with tears in eyes , with so much love on sai that i can’t stop writing … from 10 in night to the dawn of next day morning at 7 and then i go to sleep few hours.
and after all this i get a mail that hurts me and asks me if i am hurt and yes all sai servants has to be hurt and bear it. This is not new to Sai himself .
I have been working on starsai.com from 2004 december from the time i started coming around dhuni in nagasai mandhir for few years and even when i was in a job in Mumbai, taking care of starsai network of websites and writing to sai children was part of my every day life. I used to hide my computer from other staffs and write articles and help sai devotees in pain. Atleast some healing words to make them feel confident and motivate them in sai devotion .
I wonder if i can do it all my life having said i have responsibilities as son ..I am 31 and have old parents who wish i too lead a good life .
Now about why i started writing this article.
I just came from saibaba temple in my hometown, standing near lamps tray where i clean, sweep, drop coconuts and take care of holy dhuni and finally wondered if atleast today my net connection will be back as i suffered 3 days with no net . Yes it was and i saw few mails and one of them from a sai devotee goes like this…
1. Your site talks 70% about yourself and hardly 30% for Baba. You are more concentrating on “I”. You are writing what you had been doing and what you are doingYour site talks 70% about yourself and hardly 30% for Baba. You are more concentrating on “I”. You are writing what you had been doing and what you are doing
1. Answer : TRUE . Is not “Sai” living in everyone of us ?
First of all this “I” “my” discussion is always misleading. Ask someone who is good at english to read my articles. They can find so many mistakes and the way i write itself has a childish amature style. Honestly i don’t know to write english without the words
“I ” ….My ….BUT …AND….. especially the words BUT and AND always comes.. trust me i am not smart . This is what i am . May be i am wrong or may be i must do a course in writing better to frame sentances without using I and My…but that doesn’t mean i speak about myself.
and the second part of the question from the devotee was
“You are writing what you had been doing and what you are doing”
When i write ‘today i dig dhuni in nagasai mandhir and even go to the extent to show my love for dhuni with a seperate website , shirdisaisabadhuni.com , Its purely to help sai children realize the greatness of Dhuni , Sacred fire of Sai , may be someone who plans to build a new shirdi sai baba temple who ignores to make a dhuni due to few reasons ,will realize the greatness of dhuni from this site.
Even if you see the aarti of shirdi sai baba, its composed with a note of expression on “Das Ganu ” .In one of the stanza he says ‘ I wish to be a broomstick for your dwarakamai ” .
And when venkat writes, today i dig dhuni, its not what you see. See a man who comes home travelling in bus at 10.30 in night with shirts that almost looks like the one who worked in workshop.
Ya…cleaning dhuni means being ready to sacrifice. I get the heat of the iron rod, few days my skin in palm will peal off.I have shed my blood and i am happy to do it.
The day my skin in palm got heated by the iron rode , i use to clean dhuni and wipe dhuni getting down the hot dhuni take, i feel sai has blessed me.
The ashes always gets into my ears and nose. Once the work is done, i run to the pipe where they wash legs in temple and bend my head into the water. I have to face my mother and father who worries their son can’t stop cleaning sacred dhuni and he is attached to it and once my mom said this looking at my shirt ” You look like a labourer who gets paid everyday”
I said with smile ” Ya ma , i work as labourer for sai in his temple”
and my mom replied “even the real servant in temple will look clean than you ”
Well, this is what i am . I am a ordinary sai devotee who loves sai and i am sharing it.
Ok may be you feel , when i write so and so about how much i strain to clean sacred dhuni, you feel i am writing about myself ?
Kushabhav who lived in saibaba’s life time says “Sai asked me to do 108 times parayan of guru charitra .I did that with in 10 months”
Now after 100 years when i read it , i am surprised how did kushabhav managed to spend 10 months in life life doing parayan of one sacred holy book guru charitra. Kusha bhav too was blessed with good married life later but at one stage sai did made him completely work on spiritual path.
If Kusha bhav has not said he did parayan of Guru charitra for 108 times based on saibaba’s commands, i would have not read it with so much eagerness and i have gifted it to few sai devotees who love it so much.
So when a devotee says ‘I did this and i did that ” …If he only is writing for good, about being good, why not accept it. Sai lives in that devotee too as a matter of fact and inturn it becomes a information about Sai himself.
So today i write how much i strain to dig and clean dhuini and filter ashes. Tomorow ,after few years, i myself will remember, how beautiful were those days. How beautiful. with tears in my eyes i say this friends, Its sai’s grace alone that not a single day i have got big burns etc.
I used to clean dhuni even when its too hot…too hot that my hands and legs get heated too much. I shout ….sai maharaj..saibabaaaaa…sayeee..nagasaiiiiiiii….and do it. I run to the wash pipe near by and wet my hands and legs to reduce heat.Run back to dhuni and clean it. Well, after few years someone who loves saibaba will be motivated to do the same and now everyone who reads will realize the greatness of holy dhuni.
Even today, few sai devotees casually asks me , is it not enough to put on a electric lamp instead of diya – a real lamp. Who knows if i don’t write so much about dhuni, after 100 years kaliyug will become so worse that they get idea why not keep a electric dhuni in the new sai temple they construct.
2.And what this devotee who mailed me asks me is “For a new sai devotee , why are there no information about incidents in saibaba’s life time. His leelas etc “
I direct them to first read holy sai satcharitra written by hamadpant and other books written by authors i love and trust.
What’s known about sai are written in wonderful books like Sri sai satcharita by hamadpant and recently a translation of complete version by Indira kher .
I also include sai leelas during his life time in many of my articles as and when needed and ofcourse if a devotee wants only sai leela , There are sepearte sections for Sai Satcharitra alone. And hold on . StarSai is growing . When sai blesses me , i will surely articles focussed on saibabas life alone. Even then , is not saibaba’s life and every single leela a combination of his devotees problems , how sai blessed them, how sai narrates stories of past life of his devotees , his indirect personal and spiritual guidance through few incidents . Example …Anna shahab is teased by sai that he hides the food grains in his coat sleeves and sai says he doesn’t offer food to guru before he has food.
Same way may be sai makes me write about myself to put the point across. So many sai children have really thanked me for what was written and what made them love starsai is this connection i make. A ordinary sai devotee and his love for Sai.
and few articles like below has helped sai devotees learn ways to love him. I just show i did this and you also try. I NEVER said this is the only way
Once again answering your first question that starsai is 70 % of I AND MY :
StarSai has information and articles which includes not only my life but also life of my friends who are sai devotees, friends in temple and leelas in other sai devotees life. I have answered this in one of my first article in About Starsai . Read that page completely. I shall quote the following page.
Discovering the real meaning of Starsai :
Saibaba of shirdi is the SUN . The only one SUN for this universe .To me shirdi saibaba is a sweet saint with powers beyond imagination but he never reveals his qualities that easily.One who has gone through lots of sufferings and failures in life and still hugging baba tight in his/her heart can understand the value of this sweet saint shirdi saibaba.By the ashirwad of my parents who has always supported me irrespective of me not at all concentrating in my career in this age, baba has given me a opportunity to understand how powerful and merciful he is.
No one can be like our shirdi saibaba.There are very few saints and sadgurus who can match his affectonate heart but certainly we all can become “Stars”
Star sai is the relationship between the SUN and STAR
A beautiful deep strong relationship between SHIRDI SAI and his pure hearted SAI DEVOTEES
Now Understanding StarSai is simple. I write about Sai and sai devotees and when i write about my life , its just to make the connection because what are temples for and what are holy books for ? Like they all do the connection between the devotee and God, When i write about myself and my problems , it helps sai children identify themselves in same situation or problem and find it easy to connect to sai , meaning worship sai.
The devotees mail also has this point which i find really odd :
3.Baba had never laid down any rules and regulations for his pooja. He just wanted devotion, love from his devotees whereas you have started Shradha Sabhuri Pooja and so many other also. You are writing that everybody strictly follow your pooja instructions and should deviate. Let people have the liberty to choose what they want to do, how they want to remember Baba.
Lets start with Sai Vrat Pooja which many shirdi sai baba devotees follow. From the time starsai started its journey in 2004, sai devotees mail me only for doubts about this pooja. I clearly say them i myself had not done this and i only presented it as a devotees contribution. Most ask me what kind of food i can have ? where to get the sai vrat pooja book , i cant do this pooja as i dont have this.that etc. I always told them don’t avoid doing anything you like to do for sai, just because you can’t follow some rules. do it as you feel comfortable.
I have answered hundreds of sai devotees personally
“Pooja and rituals a way to show devotion on sai…if you like to do it, start doing it and don’t worry about rules. “
Its surprising how you misunderstood and where did i say follow the rules strictly. Probably the contributer wrote and i presented .If you can spot the page , please let me know i shall delete it . My views are completely different. Even in sai temple where i serve, devotees asks me few things and i say loudly, happily and cheerfully
“This is the only God and only saint with no rules.Your pure love and devotion is enough for baba “
To such a person , it hurts to the core when someone writes “You are writing that everybody strictly follow your pooja instructions.”
Infact i created Starsai Shradha Saburi pooja especially to make sure even devotees who are busy with their work and family life are able to show devotion on saibaba. Can you say in which place , in which pooja i wrote “Follow the pooja strictly ? ” …If so let me know, i shall edit them.
Make sure its written by me and not a contributed pooja like sai vrat pooja. All other pooja are written by me and it really injures me even when i feel , some sai devotees might think, sai will bless them only if such poojas are followed.
Please sai devotees, please , you don’t have to follow the ways i wrote for sai children like pooja , Use it just as a spark to ignite your devotion on shirdi sai baba
Sai himself has spoken about Nava vidha bhakti – 9 forms of devotion. So friends, what i have wrote is only to show if you like this way and choose them. For example, What will i do when someone writes, her daughter is sick or not getting married and its painful.
I can’t just write to them like a counseller. This is saibaba’s kingdom. Any one of the pooja will be liked by this mother to show sai devotion. Or i ask them to listen to sai aarti when ever they can or do parayan of sai satcharitra.
Can i simply motivate them if i write only about saibaba’s life ?
I also do prayers to bless everyone universally ..for example looking at many mails i get with such problem i spent entire day doing this pooja
Did you see i myself followed any rules in that Pooja ? It was almost a expression of my interest in helping sai children who are in such pain. I did this pooja childishly praying sai to help his children
Sai children ! You are free to do what you like to Sai :
I will write a seperate article to make sure sai devotees are always blessed for what they do and are free FREE AND FREE to choose their own way of worshipping sai and the pooja , mantra and guidance i have given are only to find ways thats suits you or inspire , motivate you in sai devotion.
The devotee who mailed me also says its wrong when i say people suffer due to planetary situation and the right one is KARMA probably in this article
see her point as below…
4.You said that may be our planetary position is bad that is why we are facing hard times. No it is our karmas. It is very clearly mentioned by Baba in sai satcharitra. Baba never beleived in astrologers. In two leelas in sai satcharitra, Baba proved that. In one leela, astrolger told kaka sahib that today your time is not good and another one where astrologer told one boy that he will not clear his exams.
This is another big thing every sai devotee speaks about. Baba don’t like astrology. Who said ?
Sai satcharitra is like pearls thrown in sea. Who ever dives deep in it can take more and more pearls
Please never ever say sai don’t like this .Dont like that based on what you alone found in sai satcharitra book.
The sai who helped the boy pass exams against astrological views also made kshama go to shapta shringi devi based on the guidance of astrologer. even when kshama wanted to give the offerings to saibaba himself, sai wanted him to go to saptha sringi devi temple. Well there is another leela there but indirectly sai did showed us astrologers findings to direct kshama to this purticular temple is true.
There is this devotee who was about to commit suicide. Saibaba gives him book of akalkot maharaj and saves him. Dint you read in same sai satcharitra, the man learnt astrology and later started earning his living by sai grace ? So will saibaba allow his man whom he saved to become astrologer if its totally wrong.
Now this is what we understand
What are Karma- Our past good and bad deeds and so we say our present sufferings is due to karma. Ofcourse astrology is related to it. The position of planets when we are born are situated in favourable places based on the souls previous births good deeds and non favourable positions if there are more bad deeds.And that becomes our horoscope.
And then based on ones star and present planetary positions they face ups and downs in life.
Astrology itself is a chart of ones previous lifes good and bad deeds which is a persons karma and based on which giving a idea about might happen in this life.
By writing this am i asking you to say to believe in astrology. “Not completely” is the write word. All i plead and request is. Though it has become commercial, some people who know this art has served millions of innoncent people and they have come to shirdi too during sai’s life time. Like how kshama was guided by astrologer to fulfil his mothers vows which was approved by sai, may be a sai devotee might get good guidance.
Believe in them but don’t completly trust them. Saibaba’s words are more powerful :
( Note – My parents believe in astrology a lot but they are devoted to sai more than what the guidance they get. So when they feel its not good time, they believe sai will protect them but try to be more careful. This is what sai also wants from us friends.
Not only astrology. Sai accepts any thing which gives us idea about how to behave properly, seeking properly person to take a good decision , asking elders opinion etc.
We pray. we have our guru sai to help us . Fortunately, we have met few good astrologers who do really serve people by this art and the most painful part is many are misguided by astrologers for monetary benefits. Some of them even confuse people and say do this and do that.
When i want to say my point to prove sai never disagreed with going to a astrologer , i also have a responsibility to warn, take what you like and leave the rest to sai..
Meaning don’t trust all of them and even the one whom you trust, don’t completely believe it.Just get an idea about it and Stop there. Dont take it to heart and confuse like the boy believing he won’t pass exams decided not to attend exams itself.
Thats the message sai gave when he made the boy pass exam. Why din’t say completely prevent the boy from going to astrologer ?
Shirdi Saibaba only wanted him to have more faith on GURU than his FATE.
Sai never said astrologer is wrong. Sai Said when i am there, Why worry about your fate or planetary positions or past karma .
Hope you now understood the relationship between karma and astrology and its not wrong when i write that sufferings in life at times may be due to planetary position.
The devotee who mailed me also feels i am forcing sai devotees.
I wonder if she can be more harsh to any one who finds his only happiness in sai.
See her point
5.Do whatever you want to do but don’t force people to do that. Do it if you feel bliss in that. That is what needed and same let others also do whatever they want.
I motivate. and I heal.
and i do it because i love to make people love sai
You mean to say , I forced her to do this.
The “SAI” in her forced her to do it.
People do shradha saburi pooja without my knowledge friend. some write to me after years. Its the sai who made them do it.
There are so many things I have seen in your website which may misguide people.
So many other things are you want people to follow like naam jap of 50,000.
“You may be in busy with studies , work but at times its good to take a effort to feel the Bliss of Chanting Sai naam.”
Its only to encourage chanting sai sai sai while doing their duty :
StarSai is only a Spark – The flame of Sai devotion is in you…
In the heart of every single sai devotee :
Neither StarSai nor Venkatraman can force the flame of sai devotion in you to get diverted or misguided.
and if you don’t like starsai too, please leave me and starsai alone. You are well education, smart , successful person who has more knowledge about saibaba and sai devotion than me. Please move on with your own personal love for saibaba. Ofcourse we are friends as sai devotees. Our views differ but our atma has sai in it .
This i say to all sai children.
Please understand StarSai.
I write the articles only to share my experiences innocently and see to that sai devotees now and years ahead will be benefited.
its only a website for you. you will comment and go . I have to bear the comments . Anyway as i said , I have just begun.
Someday I will do what i dream for StarSai
What Sai wanted me to do for millions of sai children before i pass away
and i hope sai will help me get support , affection and acceptance from sai children who will some day come to my “StarSai ” for what it was made.
Love. Peace. Harmony.Humanity and above all inspire Devotion on Guru.
Om sri sainathaya namaha
Sai Paadha Lingam
july 16 th 2010
It took hours for me to write this friends. Never felt the devotee who mailed me is wrong but i was worried and hurt for all that i did in the past 6 years, is this what few sai devotees think.
To me StarSai will live for ever ..Even after i pass away. I will surely make StarSai do what sai wants it to do in the years to come.