Yes i have been through this feeling of being dejected by our own Mother Sai. At times i ask saibaba, i pray you so much and you never bother to help me . Its been years and you never show your grace on me.
The irritating feeling when your prayers are not answered by Shirdi Saibaba is worst possible that it might lead you to stop worshipping sai maharaj. Trust me , if theres something sai is very much pained its when his devotees are purposely ignoring him just because he has not fulfilled their wishes.
How to Love Saibaba of shirdi even when prayers are not answered :
Do this simple test on yourself.
Can you live with out shirdi saibaba. If you fine .Do it.
Even then can you ignore your mother just because she was not able to fulfill your hearts desires. In some family,there might be a sad incident because of which they avoid doing pooja for saibaba and going to temples etc.
What ever may be the reason, Its natural tendency to get upset when we don’t get what we want. The feeling is ok but how strongly you take it to your heart is what that matters .
Please say saibaba your worries and that you are disappointed. At the same time never ignore your devotion. Its not the artificial rituals light lighting lamps etc that you physically do that reaches saibaba . What reaches saibaba is your unconditional love on him .
My desire to have my own Camera :
It was 1997 when i was in first year of college and i desired so much to have my own Professional camera. I was not able to get it as it was not affordable for my father. One of my aunt promised to get it from U.S but she also “cheated me” if the right word was used. Ofcourse if you give words to some one , especially for kids , you have to fulfill their wish .
All my Photography dedicated for Sai children :
Later in 2001 after 5 years my father got me a professional camera. In 2006 my sister got me a digital camera . Trust me untill now i have used my camera more for taking saibaba statue in my house rather than anything. I have never used it commercially though i was into photography.
Probably saibaba wants me to serve him alone and make millions of his devotees happy by taking beautiful photography with shirdi saibaba statue in my house.
I was really upset for years when saibaba dint got me a camera. All my college life was spent without a camera of my own and i had to beg to others to practice photography.
I used to go to Saibaba temple in my place and cry to saibaba why he cant get me a professional camera for years . Now that i got my camera and take pictures of saibaba , sai made me a instrument to spread his beautiful leela and glory.
It took 10 years for me to give up the desire to become commercial photographer. Sai did gave me what i want but he made me go through so much failures in my career and pulled me to his service that now i don’t feel like photographing any thing else other than Our sweet Saibaba.
Saibaba answers your prayers for sure :
Hope you realized from my experience the great assurance of shirdi saibaba
“There will be no wants in the house of my devotees ”
Saibaba did gave me what i prayed for – A camera at the same time sai has decided before 10 years itself that my passion for photography must be diverted to his service and not any other artistic or commercial motive. Probably theres still more to what i might do with the camera and my little photographic and filmmaking skills.
As of now i am happy because when you offer all that you know and learnt for the service of Sai devotion, Then your life gets meaningful.
Similarly, what ever your prayers are, sai will surely answer it. May be at present saibaba cannot as your planetary situation is not good or probably saibaba wants to give you the best in the days, month or years to come.
I waited 10 years
Count your days from this moment. Keep chanting sai sai sai, offer flowers to sai all these are only external expression of your love on saibaba…deep inside TRUST
Have faith that the moment you gave yourself to saibaba, then sai will take care of you.
Om sainathaya namaha