I am happy since one of my friend at work is moving back closer to his hometown in Andhra. His Mother had strock and paralaysis last month and thankfully She’s healed now. I pray Sai that he should be relieved by the end of this month so that he can build a better Career where he is respected for his knowledge.
Last evening, I called up Geetanjali didi who lives in Lucknow with her husband and 2 kids. She’s the one who sent me the watch am wearing these days. Some of my friends used to say that it looks like a ladies watch though its Mens. Having said that, my Mom often used to say that they have bought me up like a girl and my Sister like a Boy.
I still feel this because my parents are too protectective about me after all these years. I tell them you allow Indra to do what ever She wishes but always asking me to go by your words. My parents get scared that something would happen to me or people might speak ill of me. My Sister travels the whole world but other day, I told her that I am taking my Car to a hill temple. She immidiately told that “Elephants would come there. So don’t go”. I got irritated and told her “Where did Elephants come from after all these years and if She saw them roaming there?”
Couple of weeks back, my Mom suddenly asked me “Are you careful with girls in your office because you will speak or do something casually and people will start to speak ill of you?” I was shocked and told her, when ever I speak to any girl, I just have a short conversation and not much. If people misunderstand me, I can’t help it because I can’t live for the world.
I don’t know to act as if I am good. If what ever I do or speak sounds as if I am bad to others, only their mind is spoilt.
She’s worried since I had told her that some girl with no brains and still living in early 1970’s gave a complain on me last year. Another lady exagerated it just for the excitement of showing as if She’s protecting all the girls in office as if She came down from sky. When I came to know about it in Feb 2017, I used to wake up early in the morning at 4 A.M, look at Sai and shed tears asking Baba, why do people speak ill of me? What did I do Baba?
My Mom told me, don’t be careless and come back to me to say “People are speaking ill of me”. I told my Mom that after last years incident, I am getting scared to be myself.
All my life, I have this habit of even befriending girls even if they are strangers to me. I speak a lot too. Even most of my Sai friends are girls. They all know me for what I am. But I fear a lot to be normal to any girl at work after last year’s incident. A thought that they or people would misunderstand me always creeps my mind.
I have a funny memory from my Filmmaking days.
Once a girl in the Film crew who had come from North India wanted to go to Tirupati from Chennai. Everyone including my Editor asked me to take her to Tirupati and show places. I told them, I can’t take a girl to Tirupati because She’s not my friend. They insisted saying She trusts you. So why don’t you take her.
I told them, I certainly won’t because I am scared of her..he he..
Later, when they kept on asking I lied saying I have some health issues.
So its not that my parents are protective. Though I have quite a few girls as friends in the past, I get along with them only if I know them well for many days.
Anyway. The reason I spoke to Geetanjali didi was since her Mom passed away. She was really pained and told me “None can replace a Mom’s place in life and when ever I close my eyes, my Mom’s image comes to my heart”
She has 2 kids and I hope her mind will gradually get healed.
While She was talking to me about her Mother, I started worrying about my Mom.
I went to the Saibaba temple near office and sat in the Dwarakamai. I was thinking about my Mom as She’s not keeping well these days. Both my parents are just managing.
I reached home and spoke to my Mom for few minutes.
Since my Mom has pain in her leg, I press her legs for few minutes. At times, when my Mom is sleeping, I look at her deeply.
Yesturday, my Mom told me when ever my parents feel dizzy, they feel as if something would happen and they would leave me and go. I told her, She will be fine by Sai grace.
I am blessed since I live with my parents. I haven’t made my parents proud of me like my Sister did but I am OK.
Many of you may not know about Princess Diana’s glory.
She has this very beautiful quote
“Yes. I touch. I think people need it”.
I believe its the same for your dear one’s too.
Touch your Mom when ever you find an opportunity. If you stay abroad or another city, visit her when ever you can.
I feel little irritated as my Mom fears a lot for me and is too much protective as if I am a girl. I often tell her “Have you ever controlled your Daughter like this?”
My Mom says, She knows to manage but you get upset if something happens.
Yesturday, one of this senior Mam at work saw my head and said, I lost all my hair and made fun of me.
This made me ask several questions to Sai in my mind.
“Baba, Why did you show this girl at work in dream after all these years? Look how people comment on me like this which means, I must have behaved properly. I lost my senses because of your dreams and now, who’s suffering?
Anyway. I don’t mind getting grey hair too because that tells me what people would expect from me. I must behave little matured and careful. I don’t know when my Sai is going to answer me on why this happened to me. I can’t bear this anymore Baba.
All I want you to do is this.
When your Mom is there with you. touch her.
She will feel good that you are near her.