Even after all these years, my parents see my sister and myself as small children

Sairam friends,

Our flight to U.S is on August 6th. We will be starting to Chennai on August 4th from Coimbatore. People tell me that dreams has nothing to do with reality. Few month back, I had a dream as if my Sister is getting a new mobile phone to me and I am in the U.S. I honestly did not had any idea of going to U.S those days. Until May 2018, it was planned that my Sister would come to meet us.

My parents were on call with my Sister on skype and for some reason She started having tears in her eyes. Probably, she missed us as I missed her too but never told her about it. We immidiately decided to travel to meet her.

Usually, I have seen anyone travelling abroad for the first time will be excited about their journey and stay. The past one week has been really stressful to me that I am going to the U.S to meet my Sister with no such excitement. As my parents get old and weak, I have to take care of them. So I easily get tensed and upset.

Secondly, I am not going to travel anywhere from my Sister’s small town. Both my Sister and Brother in law are too busy with their work and hence I don’t wanna disturb them. I wish to spend good time with my niece. This trip is very important since my niece is really affectionate towards me but I have never spent time with her inperson. In 2010, she was just 3 years old and hence the 14 days my Sister stayed in India was too hectic for us. Now that my niece is 11 years old, she will know me to remember for lifetime.

If I miss this stage in her life, I will only be a virtual uncle for her who never bothers to meet her at all.

There’s so much I had to adjust and sacrifice because of this trip. I am going through a lot already. But I still have to respect my niece’s desire to meet us. I don’t think I will be happy every other day during my stay but I will be calm because parents are too old if I complain about any issues.

In Feb/March 2017, I had a dream in which I heard the words

“Silicon Valley Unprecedented”

How do I interpret such dreams from Sai? Is Saibaba telling me how vibrant is Silicon valley or is he asking me to visit the place? In 2017, if anyone would have asked if I will be going to the U.S, I would have certainly said “No” because I never planned to. None of us did.

I launched my small Startup covering interviews of Silicon valley tech companies but never let it grow especially since Sai made me realize that I must be content with the current job and be satisfied with it. Its my desire to visit some Technology companies and Entrepreneurs in the U.S but this desire too may not be fulfilled as I won’t be traveling anywhere. I also can’t spend to travel far.

So why on Earth am I going to U.S?

I have to be responsible for the family I am gifted with. My Mom, Dad and Sister who choose to build her life in a far away country. My Mom always used to tell me that I must take care of my Sister when she needs any help for lifetime and I had assured her that I would certainly do it. So I am thankful to the young lady with a charm who gave me a 10 year Visa.

While I was in the Que in U.S Consulate, I prayed Saibaba in my mind like this

“If I am granted Visa, I wish to do any good deed during my stay in the U.S”

I won’t tell this to anyone but I will be looking for an opportunity to do any good karma. Any small act that makes me feel that I have given back to the country which allowed me to meet my Sister and niece.

Coming back to the dream I had before few month that I am in the U.S and my Sister is getting me a new mobile phone, I wonder if such materialistic gift is really necessary. I don’t expect anything from my Sister and She also doesn’t need anything from us. It’s our presence that matters because we have never been together as a family for years.

Initially, my Sister went to Germany for her Ph.d,, She came India for her wedding – That’s 20 days. She went to U.S and came India for 14 days vacation in 2010. So in the last several years my Sister has spent just 34 days with us.

This is my life…

I had lots of desires.

I probably didn’t align myself in the right way that none of my desires both in personal life and my career got fulfilled.

I am nobody at my workplace.

I do some odd job.

I love my parents and hence I get upset when they are sick

I love my Sister and her family and hence I have to travel to meet them.

To be honest, even today, I argue a lot with my Sister and there’s always some kind of misunderstanding. Irrespective of all that, as I promised my Mom, I will always be there for my Sister.

Last night, I slept at 3 A.M. Its early in the morning and how can only sleep so late almost every other day.

I was upset about few issues.

Sometime before I woke up, I had a very unique dream.

It was like my parents were climbing a hill station carrying a basket on their back. The basket has a baby inside it. Its like my Mom and Dad are carrying my Sister and myself being small kids keeping us inside the basket. 

As soon as I woke up, I could remember this vivid dream.

Sai teaches me a lot through dreams. When I was shouting to me my parents that my Sister doesn’t understand its so hard for you both to travel, Sai means to convince me saying that they wanted to take care of both me and my Sister.

This is what I understood.

Even after all these years, my Parents see my Sister and myself as small children. I could feel this on several occasions. I have troubled my parents a lot from childhood and seems they are still carrying this burden on their back in the journey of life.

As I write this article, I did some research and found that hundreds of years back, Native Americans called Hupa tribe and Camanche people had custom of making Baby baskets. These Hupa tribes and several other native Americans actually own American land before Britishers and Spanish people conquered the land almost by grabbing it from these innocent tribal people.

Look at the baby in the basket below

Photo used with courtesy

As I always write, I don’t like the present days. I always admire ancient people. I atleast wish to go back to the days Sai lived in his physical form. So I like the Native Americans and wish to learn more about them.

Please pray for our safe journey to U.S, peaceful stay in my Sister’s place and come back safe to India.

Happiness, they say is a state of mind. So irrespective of several questions about my life being unanswered, I believe Saibaba will bless me with peace in the end.

Sai guides me through dreams and hence he showed as if my parents are carrying me in a basket. You might assume that you are grown up and that you have a job or a successful life. To your parents, you are always a small baby inside this basket. You just don’t know that they are carrying you on their back. Even today.

So take care of your Mom and Dad.

I made a simple video during our visit to Mylapore Kapaleeswarar temple. As you all know, I love Goddess Karpagambal. I am fortunate enough to take my parents in special entrance and admire the glory and divinity of Goddess Karpagambal for few minutes. I told her that I wish to always remember her.

Here’s the video

Om Sai Ram


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