I had always feared. I had feared that something might happen to everyone I care for. This nature is in me right from childhood.
A Month back, I was at work on a Sunday evening for an Editing work. I went down to the 3rd floor and realized all the lights were off. I like darkness but there must be some small light. I think its been long since I walked in pitch darkness where none were present. So suddenly, I feared some ghost might catch me and walked up. he he..
I thought that I don’t fear for ghost anymore but that day, I felt that I still have such silly fear.
Apart from this, occasionally, a fear suddenly emerges in me. I can clearly feel this fear is doing something to my heart and I will be restless. Such fear usually triggers me to worship God praying for everyone I care.
On Tuesday evening, When I started to Railway station to catch the train, such a fear emerged in me. My Mom was getting well and I wondered why I feared. I opened Saibaba’s book in which there was this incident that Baba saves a devotee when he has health issues at night.
The day before, I was chatting with one of my Sai Sister that I lit 3 lamps in Saibaba temple praying for my Mom, Sister, Herself and someone else. She told me that I mentioned 4 people but lit only 3 lamps. I told her that I am used to lighting 3 lamps for years. Something made me feel that I must light 4 lamps the next day when I was traveling in bus to catch the train. I got down Saibaba temple though I did not had time to pray.I just got 4 lamps and lit them praying for everyone.
I told this girl that I suddenly have fear that something would happen and asked her if everyone will be alright. She told me that they all will be fine. I could not sleep even for a minute in the train.
I came back to Coimbatore on Thursday morning and immediately started to work. Last night, my Mom told me that on Tuesday night at around 3.30 my Father had fainted in the restroom. He himself has woken up after 30 minutes and later only my Mom noticed him and gave him something to drink.
I was really bothered about the whole issue because I know Saibaba has hinted me through this fear in my heart and made me pray for everyone.
When ever I say something to my parents or sister, they immeditely complain saying “You fear unnecessarily and its a bad habit”.
Yes. If you trust Saibaba, you must never have such fear in you. But one of the way Sai communicates that an evil is ahead of us is by giving me such deep fear and I start to chant his holy name.
I know its wrong to fear. Fear is weakness. So when ever you have such fear or negative thoughts, focus on doing something creative. Recite any mantra or listen to Saibaba aarti. You can also chant SAI SAI SAI in mind.
My Mom’s not well but has improved now.
I keep having issues at work as they asked me to move to other building. I am annoyed why they keep targeting me? Thats such a silent place and I don’t know know to be calm. I feel sleepy after lunch. So I like to go near people working sincerely and irritate them asking something and making fun of them. I can’t do it in the other place. I feel bad for such a culture in that place hindering employee freedom.
Lets see what happens. Baba did showed me a dream that I might have to face some obstacles but eventually, I will accomplish what I had been planning.
Sacrificed photography for Mom
There was a landscape photography workshop today in the city. I desired to go there but since my Ma is not doing good, I felt better to be at home. I am doing nothing to her but atleast wanna be at home during weekend. I have lots of plans and wanted to make it happen. Finally, After many years, I am trying to be a Tech journalist through my new project. My only timepass is my new site which Sai asked me to launch – OfficeExperience.in
Fear is weakness. Don’t be like me
I can’t justify that fear is good as it gives me hints from Sai to pray for my dear one’s. May be, Sai wants me to get rid of my fear and simply remember him. You too try to focus on Sai with heart and Soul.
Sai will do good to you and your family
I went to Saibaba temple this evening, lit 4 lamps, offered Kumkum to Saibaba and spoke to one of my Sai friend Kavitha in Chennai. Then, Madhusmita spoke for 5 minutes from Mumbai. She asked me when I am going to Shirdi. I told her that I must do a trick in office to travel to Mumbai officially for a week so that I can also visit Shirdi. Lets see if there’s a possibility. I read 2 chapters in Sai Satcharita sitting in main hall.
Chant Sai’s holy name. You will realize how much Sai cares for you.
Featured image used with courtesy.