Lord Murugan and the way Sai wants me to be pure

Sairam friends,

Sai blessed me with two dreams in the past few weeks about Lord Murugan of Palani hills. Everytime, I decided to travel to Palani, there was an obstacle. This weekend, I decided to go to Palani and offer my hair.

Sai warns me to be careful with few girls

On Saturday morning, Sai showed me a dream of a girl I don’t respect much at workplace. Basically, I work in a place where almost all the girls are good. I mean, they come from a good family and they just mind their work. But in the recent past, I hear some rumors about a girl which not only shocked me but some of my friends too. I call it ‘Rumor” because I haven’t seen it but people whom I can trust told something is wrong.

I woke up and told Baba

“Don’t show me such girl in dream because She’s spoilt”

Obviously, the reason Sai could have shown this girl in dream is because Sai wants me to be careful. I am normally speaking to everyone forgetting how much I suffered last year. I respect one girl but the rest- I just speak to them officially. Nothing else.

All through Saturday, I was tensed for some reason or the other. Like, I took my Dad to shop in the town. Since I parked the car too far, he walked behind me but missed the right place. I felt bad for making my Dad walk when it was too hot.

Later, in the evening, I took my parents to a hill temple of Lord Murugan in Coimbatore. Then, we went to Nagasai Mandir. There’s this restaurant where we usually have dinner. That’s the only place I allow my parents to have food when we go out, as its hygenic. But Saturday, the Anna in Hotel who always speaks to us nicely, served a food which wasn’t fresh to my Mom. I was little concerned if my Mom would get sick. I asked her to have Udi as we went back to Nagasai mandir. Thankfully, my Mom is fine. Just that, I got tensed.

I was trying to understand why Sai showed a girl who means nothing to me in dream? Well, we can’t show it out in an office environment but from the last years incident in which a girl complained about me unnecessarily, I try to be careful.

Saturday was filled with tension all the day and I considered that girl is like a sign of bad luck.

While driving back, I even told my parents that the whole day, something is upsetting me. My Dad said “Somedays will be like that and that’s good too”.

I slept off and was blessed with a dream on Sunday morning.

I can say this dream carried a message.

While I expect girls to be pure, Sai wants me to analyze myself if I am pure? 

There are few things which I can’t write directly but being a Man isn’t an easy task. Atleast since I also desire to satisfy Sai every single moment. Even my thought process must be pure.

When I am devoted to Sai, he doesn’t expect me to sing Aarti, Read spiritual books or even chant his name. Sai don’t even want me to go to temple or do any pooja at home. The only thing Saibaba expects from me is “Being pure”.

So pure that he can’t find a trace of stuff that will hinder my association with Sai.

Journey to Palani Murugan temple

I started to Palani hills only at 11 from home. My Mom asked me to have lunch but I told her, then, it will be too late for me to be back home. I started in my Car, parked it in a space in the town and caught Bus to Palani by 12 in the noon. It wasn’t too hot in Coimbatore today but it was a Sunny day when I started.

I like going in Bus since we can see few ordinary people. I like people doing such jobs – Driver, Conductor, Men and Women selling snacks in the bus stop, People who travel with us, I watch everyone when ever I travel.

I tell myself “We live in such a country where there are so many people, doing so many different work, living so many different life and we must do something that will impact these people positively”.

I reached Palani by 3 P.M. I decided to walk towards the hill as it was cloudly as if its going to rain. I offered my hair, took bath and went to the temple in the foothills. I lit 6 lamps to Lord Murugan and offered flowers. I found a group of devotees who sung beautiful bhajan in praise of Murugan.

Oh Yes! I forgot to say this. While, I was in the Bus, I got 50Rs which was flying near my foot. I picked it and asked other passengers if they had missed money? But everyone seemed to look at me oddly. I kept looking until last minute if someone would ask for 50Rs. I decided to offer it in the Dakshina box.

While walking towards the Hill, I saw an old women selling bags. I don’t need it at all. But simply to make her feel someone bought her bags, I used the 50Rs to buy the same. I paid her 20Rs and wanted her to keep the balance. I usually have such habit. If I see someone too weak, old or poor, I don’t ask for balance.

This time, I got balance from her and while walking I took this decision.

When ever I give people, I must make it accountable.

Instead of doing charity, we must help people to earn their living. Invest in people. This way, your money gets accounted.

I worshiped Lord Ganesha in the foot hills and started climbing Palani hills by steps. I have a major problem or I should say something that bothers me a lot. My head sweats as if God has installed a fountain in there.  I was drenched as if I took bath. I observed every other devotee in a crowd of hundreds and none has such problem like me. I don’t know to laugh or cry for this. It wasn’t even hot as it was a cloudy day. People were expecting rain.

I remembered Sai and Lord Murugan as I walked up. I could understand that I have become little weak these days because before few years, I casually claimb up the hill. As I was about to reach the last few steps, a little girl was sitting with her parents. She saw me strangely as if I am alien…he he…

I finally reached the abode of Lord Murugan. The 100Rs entrance ticket was changed to 200 Rs as its festive days. I walked in the que remembering Sai and Murugan. I also saw people and how some of them had come to Palani by walk all the way from their home. After 30 minutes, the que entered inside the temple. I had wonderful darshan of Palani Murugan for few seconds and prayed for Parents, my Sister and especially Katya and this girl too (The one whom Sai often shows in dream). Later, I went into the samadhi cave of Saint Bogar and worshiped him.

There’s this temple of Kashi Vishvanadhar where the priest gave me Viboodhi and chandan as prasad. I felt good.

I sat there for 2 minutes and started walking out. I got Panchamrudham prasad for friends and parents. Later, I started walking down.

I did not had lunch as it might get late. Hence, Only during evening, I had a Dosa in foothills of Palani.

I got bus and sat in a place. Two men who were drunk were annoying me. I got up and sat in another place wondering how the Government has runined the whole state. People drink, get into public transport and bother others. Within next 20-30 years, half of the population in Tamilnadu might have health issues. There’s no use of having people who can’t work or take care of themselves.

On the other hand, I saw most of the guys near me were looking into their mobile. One was playing games, the guy near me used his headphone and watched a new Tamil movie downloaded from torrent. A guy adjacent to me was listening to some rock songs on YouTube.

The bus was crowded but I heared someone playing one of my favorite Hindi Song featuring Kareena

Bole Kangna Haai Main Ho Gayi Teri Saajna

All the way, I was thinking what am I going to do with my life. What’s gonna happen etc.

After 2 hours, he bus driver played few old Tamil Songs.

One of this song made me feel nostalgic.

The reason I desired to be a Cinematographer is by watching works of P.C.Sriram. I especially love this purticular song for its lighting.

En mel vizhuntha mazhai thuliye

The composition in the below shot is amazing.

Courtesy of P.C.Sriram 

There’s a notebook which I had come across in office. It has this photograph on the cover page. When ever I see that, I feel little painful remembering my love for Filmmaking. I don’t know why took some decisions. The only happiness is that I am near my parents.

As the Bus reached Coimbatore, I walked to get my Car. I realized it had rained in Coimbatore and felt good. I reached home when my Sister was on Google Duo. My Mom was telling her that She’s feeling dizzy always. I walked in and spoke to my Sister and Katya. She has grown up a lot. My Sister is planning to come to India this August. But wait. It’s just a plan. This plan is being done every year for the past few years! So hopefully by Sai grace, She should come this year. Lets see.

I don’t know if Katya would like India or not because She don’t like crowd. Its hard to make kids born in America to understand India. When ever I tell  her “I love you Katya” …She replies “I love you too”. I know those words comes from her heart. So she should love India because we are a part of India. If She loves me, She might also like where I belong. She reads so many books. Someday, She might understand India by herself.

Irrespective of all the ups and downs, India has its own beauty.

Its going to be 1 o clock now. I am tired.

This Palani pilgrimage has lots of importance. I went there especially to ask one thing to Sai and Murugan.

‘Bless me with purity and give me clarity”

I need a clear mind.

Sai showed this girl in dream for the past few month. I reacted to it and only I know how painful it is. Atleast, it must not have happened during such a period in my life. I am nobody to this girl. Then,Why should I see her in dream? I can only pray for her. I prayed for her. While I was offering my hair and also while I was in temple because She’s also like Katya to me.

Another reason I respect her is because, strangely, when ever I see her in dream, I only feel positive. That something good is happening the whole day. So I feel blessed which also assure’s She’s good hearted.

I don’t know what my life is now. I can’t understand myself. I will be satisfied if Sai and Lord Murugan helps me understand why I would have seen this girl in dream and why I reacted to it? I had shed tears, pleaded, shown my anger to Sai. Now, its up to him to bless me with a clear mind.

I can tell this to you.

There’s a very special power when you are devoted to Sai and Lord Murugan. Whenever I go to Palani hills, I feel pure.

Immensely pure from the deepest walls of my heart.

Om Sai Ram
Venkat

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