As I promised Saibaba that I will be chanting Sai,Sai,Sai 20,000 times by this weekend, I started chanting in mind from last morning. I was chanting while I travelled. When I was at work and I maintained it until lunch. I usually walk to my friends and speak some silly talk. I purposely pull others leg and make them get into a conversation just to have fun. I was even chanting in mind during lunch. Post luch, I got distracted and spoke a lot to my friends. Basically, if I am going to show my teeth and chat with friends, then, I won’t be able to complete this 20,000 count that easily.
I also had to went to a wedding reception of one of our colleague. I din’t had mood to go. Since, my friends decided to go, I also took them in my car. There was a complain that I don’t have enough Tamil songs to listen in Car. Anyway, as we reached the wedding place, I observed how these photographers worked. Couple of them were very serious and talked less.
I came out and stood to see the College where I did my grad in Visual Communication. It made me sad as I asked myself why on Earth I wanted to be a Cinematographer and what am I doing now? I had the same feeling when I saw Aamir Khan’s Dangal as I had spoken to the Cinematographer years back. This is why I completely avoid watching movies in theatre. It makes me wonder what I have made out of this life? Nothing. Atleast nothing that I desired.
Once in a while, I kept remembering that I must chant Sai’s name and kept chanting. I listened the a couple of songs in another wedding happening outside the hotel – Shania Twain’s “You’re still the one.”
Again, it made me remember the past. How much I used to listen to these songs repeatedly. Love these lyrics…
You’re still the one I run to
The on that I belong to
You’re still the one I want for life
(You’re still the one)
You’re still the one I love
The only one I dream of
You’re still the one I kiss good night
I was standing alone outside the hotel looking at my College and remembering past. One of this friend and myself have a habit of saying dialogues of how parents proudly speak of their grownup children.
“My son was in the U.S. I only asked him to work here…..My Daughter is a rocket scientist”…There’s a way some parents speak so much proud of their kids and we frame several imagination of their dialogues. It made me laugh so much.
As I reached home, I spoke to my Mom for 30 minutes and then came to my room, lit lamp for Saibaba and asked him to accept my apologies for not chanting his name with dedication. So I sat infront of him and chanted for few minites. I must have crossed 1000 count of Sai Sai Sai.
This morning, I started chanting Sai’s name as soon as I woke up.
Moral of the story – Saibaba doesn’t mind if you have fun and laugh but keep him in some corner of your mind. Remember him deeply.
I love this connection I have with Sai.
As Shania Twain’s song goes…
Sai’s the only one I can run to and the one I belong to.
Sai’s still the one I want for life!