I keep asking myself what if I am a Father of a grown up girl? How will I take it if someone bothers my daughter? Some of my Sai friends tell me that I did not do anything big or wrong but its wrong in Indian context. Firstly, its not difficult to live in India as a good looking girl.
You get too much attention easily and in the end you think everyone likes you but hard to analyze whom to trust?
Secondly, Parents are too protective of their daughter and obviously it seems to be necessary. But it eventually hinders freedom of a women. I have personally experienced this. There are parents who allow their daughter to go abroad to study and work but in some decisions, parents try to keep their upper hand. In some families, girls don’t have freedom to do what they desire to do.
I wish every girl gets the freedom my Sister had.
We all fear for my Sister if she starts to shout and still do. She rules us but we are also proud of her. That’s her nature and we accept it. I don’t think this is how Indian families works. Its different in many families which I hardly realize. I just wish every girl gets the freedom my Sister had and honestly it only helped her grow ahead. She was passionate about science which I believe took her to her destiny irrespective of all the distractions she had.
How Sai perceives a women?
Saibaba has always seen his Women devotees as a Sister or Mother. How sweetly Sai calls some of his devotees? You must read few books and know yourself. May be, My life too will be peaceful if I see every girl I like as a little Sister and move on. Or go one step ahead and see them as my own daughter. Sounds crazy but that works best for me. Easy to write and hard to follow but I wish to try my best.
When I am facing a problem, I don’t see how painful it is for someone to live their life as a girl. You have so many people around to keep happy. You must live the way your parents expect you to. You must also tolerate what happens externally and try your best to remain emotionally stable.
I believe many wonderful girls in India try to have this balance between their family and the outside world.
I just demand Saibaba to tell me why he gave such dreams but don’t see practically from a girls perspective. Today I am not feeling well and have severe head ache but Internally I feel little satisfied.
Its a huge responsibility to be a Father and once in a while when ever you like a girl, you must think from a Dad’s perspective. You must think from a Mom’s perspective.
You can always show your affection and care towards someone imagining yourself as a Father.
I don’t have to worry much if I change my mind to think this way.
I am not well now
Just felt like shedding tears for what ever happened.
Another good news is that we don’t have to make videos with the Microphone I stole from office anymore. I am someone who won’t even put petrol in my Car if I go for official work to do printing house saying “Why should I use office money”. I wonder what made me use office microphone so long for recording. May be, I was too much influenced by ‘Chori Chori meri Nazrein mili” dream. I will keep it back in a week once I receive my professional Microphone.
I woke up to a Sai Bhajan my Father played in a Bluetooth speaker I got for him to keep in the little Saibaba temple in our house compound. I was so happy to listen to this. I did not got any dreams but when did I actually sleep? I slept at 1 but subconsciously this “Father” feeling got repeated in me. Its like Saibaba was trying to make my mind stable. I have never demanded Sai to explain me why this happened and had always been his obedient servant. This time, I was too upset and kept asking him for an explanation. Yesterday, Finally, I felt peaceful for my state of mind. This perception of “Being Father’ seems to work well with me. I shall maintain this as long as I can.
The past 10 days I tried all that’s possible but I was going nuts. Now, I feel little better and not demanding dreams form Sai asking “Why you did this to me?”. Maintain this. Maintain this! I think it works. Call it “Father feeling”.