I write this to you in the middle of the night.
I know you are testing me and my ability to with stand all that happens to me.
I know you want to me remain strong internally as if entire “myself” is burnt away
I know its hard to be like this but I like to be burnt in the fire of devotion than being defeated in the exams of worldly life.
Its easy to come around the holy fire – Dhuni for several hours a day. I have done that several lakhs of times over the years in your temple.
Just that its hard to remain pure.
Like a gold smith has to melt the gold in hot fire, I feel being melted away because you expect to make a Jewelry out of me. I really can’t be your gold baba. Please accept that I am human and I have my ups and downs. I really can’t be perfect as you desire.
I may fail eventually because I had failed in past.
This time, I really wanted to remain pure because I have come past all the illusions which could hook me to it.
I know the truth is only with you and all you want from me is purity.
Being pure in everything I think, feel and do.
I am really hooked by you, Sai.