December 23rd 2017 marks 13 years since I created StarSai by Sai grace. Earlier, It was simply a 10 page website with links to Sai Satcharita and Saibaba’s Aarti. Only from 2009, I started writing my day to day experiences ocassionally. From 2013, I started regularly sharing my experiences in life and how I relate Sai to what ever happens. I might sound stupid to the world but this is all the life I know. Today, even if I don’t write for 3-4 days, I receive mails from Sai children asking if I am alright.
I love my Ma and Pa. I always pray for my Sister, her Husband and Katya because they are too far from me and I have some people at work whom I believe are my friends. I am not sure how many of them really see me as a friend. Tommorow, If I leave this job, people easily might forget me in a month’s time.
I have come a long way from 2004. I left film industry which I was passionate about. I stopped going to theatres just because it makes me worry why I din’t make it as a filmmaker. Never in my wild imagination I had any idea to do MBA or land up in an IT job. Only thing which saved me was my love for Web Startups which made me learn stuff on my own.
These days, I am really worried about my career because I don’t like to an environment where there’s freedom to do what I wanna work on. I crossed that age when you are forced to listen to someone’s commands and wait for their approvals for every single step you take. I can’t move out of Coimbatore too as my parents need me here. So its very difficult for me to find a better job in Coimbatore. I decided to simply adjust and only do what they expect. Its better I don’t take any initiatives on my own.
I am going to imagine how refugees are suffering leaving their own home land. Am I suffering to that extent? I am honestly not in a very bad state as of now. So I will adjust as much as I can. Sometimes, When I laugh, I feel pain in my chest. May be I will get heart attack because I keep worrying so much. I have this habit of purposely playing around saying my end is nearing…..he he…but is that fun? My parents can’t bear even if I get a slight stomach ache.
Today, something happened at work and I felt its better I leave this place finding a better job. I immediately wrote to a Business book Author I admire based in Denmark about my Startup and asked him if I should continue with the job or work on my Startup. He said, as of now, better continue with the job. I was upset but its better to consult experts before I take important decisions in my life.
I went to Saibaba temple and a Bhadrakaali temple in Saibaba colony. I like Mother a lot as she’s divine. The meaning of Bhadra is auspiciousness!
Travel to Madurai and Tirunelveli
My Mom wanted to visit some of our relatives in Tirunelveli and hence I have to wake up early tommorow morning and start driving. I love always being in Coimbatore but this time, I felt since my Mom’s Sister is not well, I must take her. I might visit few temples too.
I am writing to some investors in Silicon Valley because instead of worrying, I must learn how to build a company from lots of experienced professionals. Sai must help me to get associated with people with are smart and have humanity.
I am depressed but life goes on.
I certainly believe that Saibaba will show me a way
Om Sai Ram
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