Om Sai Ram friends,
Imagine you are just 23 years old. You live in the US. You might have just completed your graduation or just started your Career. Your parents are spiritually inclined and pure and what not that they desired to travel to India and take on a pilgrimage to Mount Kailash.
You are about to sleep when you see a news that there’s a flash flood in Nepal. From that moment, you start to loose sleep, you can’t have food, you can’t do your work. Your relatives and close friends can say few words to heal but you could never go past this stage in your life.
No amount of prayers can bring back your dear Mother and Father.
My question to parents planning pilgrimage to far away places is this.
Do you think being with your children when they are kids and once they are grow-up as adults, you can move on with your life to go on a pilgrimage?
What if you were not able to come back?
Will your adult-children be able to bear your loss?
I am not speaking only about Kailash visit. I am speaking about about any pilgrimage without completing your responsibilities towards your Children.
Just to speak something controversial, one of my relative asked me, a brother and sister had darshan of Saibaba temple and came to main road. They were hit my lorry and passed away on-spot.
Do you think I spoke to him about Karma?
No.I did not.
People are fed-up when we relate their sufferings to karma and past-birth deeds.
So, I told him what I felt. I said, “Saibaba should have saved them. He did not. I am sorry about it.“
He continued to speak but I said, I have never asked people to worship Shirdi Saibaba assuming everything is going to be fine. Sometimes, Sai has not helped his devotees and he himself has spoken about it to his devotees.
It’s important for me to say this because one should not assume that I am hailing Shirdi Saibaba and speaking ill of others.
Even if you go to Shirdi leaving your children behind and did not return, they will live for lifetime in grief.
I remember meeting a girl in hospital almost 10 years back. (I am sorry to write almost 10 years back often because I honestly don’t remember when it all happened)
The girls father went from Kerala to Shirdi. During his journey, he had heart attack and passed away in train.
The girl was in her teens then. Seems, she is going through mental illness post that incident. She showed me her skin in her hand and said my Father is here.
Which Saibaba can replace a Father?
Can any Guru, Gods or Goddess on earth replace the presence a Father or Mother?
When my Father passed away, people used to say, Sai will be your Appa. I get annoyed by such over-sentiment people. I tell them, “My father makes Horlicks or Boost for me every morning at 5.30 A.M and yell at me to have it and sleep again. Will Saibaba do it?”
Sai can be there for me. He can protect me. He cannot show the love my Amma and Appa shows on me.
Anyway, Let’s go back to the parents who left their adult Children in US, India, UK or any country on earth and lost their life to water.
You can give a spiritual lecture that these people won’t have another birth, They were on the way to Kailash or came back from Kailash and hence they directly reached the holy feet of Lord Shiva. All these conversation looks great as someone who watches reels on YouTube and be a mere spectator.
The real pain is for the adult-children who lost their parents as their parents did not realize that going on a pilgrimage to far away places crossing mountains has its own risk.
The pain will haunt these children for lifetime.
Now, who will see these young adults when they get married?
Who will play with their grand-children?
Who can say healing words when these children loose their job or face problems in their career or relationship?
Before 100 years, who used to go on pilgrimage to such mountain temples? Very few.
They would have gradually been detached from their family. Their children would have understood that my parents are spiritually inclined and may not come back home. They have no business, no career. They are completely detached from wordily life. I personally believe this is why Kailash is in the mountain. If we are living a family life and visiting Kailas, we should think twice if our children can live without us. Same applies to any pilgrimage without your Children including Shirdi.
I had to keep on linking Shirdi as you might not assume that I support people visiting Shirdi and not Kailash. My point is clear. Do not travel any places if you feel it’s risky. And pilgrimage is something you go intentionally.
So, I am angered whenever I watch to videos of adult children with tears searching desperately for their parents who were lost in Nepal.
If you are so much spiritually inclined and consider yourself divine and pure, why get married and have children? You could have chosen a spiritual path right. The problem is people are assuming that they can live both life.
They assume they can do financial planning, retirement planning, manage huge wealth, enjoy life and also have a spiritual tour. Well, internally, are you prepared to lead a detached life? Can you live without speaking to your Son or Daughter for more than a month? Can You? This shows you are detached or attached.
The path of spirituality is like traveling in a forest. You will face obstacles. One of the biggest internal obstacle is our attachment to our family and wordily life. When we are so much attached, why choose to go on a far away pilgrimage.
Now, who is going to say kind words to these adult-children?
They are left as orphan by their own parents imagination that visiting Kailash ( Or Shirdi for that matter), will take them closer to God. May be, it does. But you are not leading a spiritual life. You are leading a normal life. You still have more responsibilities towards your children.
Disclaimer: I don’t care what you think of this article. I know the pain I faced when my father passed away. I often used to think why my Appa was attached to the local Shiva temple in our colony and why he did not even desired to visit Thiruvennamalai where people go in crowd these days. The last lunch I had sitting near my Appa also, he spoke about our local temple. After my appa passed away, I kept asking Sai that I would have taken my parents to more temples but my Appa never planned such tours.
Only after the Nepal incident I realized my Father knows he’s not healthy for long travel and he was happy taking care of local Ganesha temple, making garlands for Goddess and doing small seva there.
I cannot stop you from going on a pilgrimage. I know a few who visit Saibaba temple who run these travel agencies. The world is ready to take you on a tour. They world can take you to Shirdi, Kailash or even directly to abode of God for that matter.
You can go on a pilgrimage anywhere in India or the world.
But remember, for your children, young or grown-up, you are their world.
The pain of living without a Father is haunting me everyday. Thankfully, I ensured my Father passed away in his home, in his room on his Son’s lap. I told him say “Sai” and he uttered “Sai, Sai” and left me.
I can cherish for lifetime that my I took care of my Father until his last breath and he passed away on my lap.
30 minutes before my Father passed away, I was pressing his legs and told him, “After you get well, we will go to Shirdi”.
My Father has never seen Shirdi.
He passed away on his Son’s lap.
To him, I am his Shirdi.
Be with your Son and Daughter. They need you longer than you think.
Love,
Venkat
My Chanting Habit: I wrote this article and felt it’s important to convey my chanting habit whenever I am in any temple or serve in Shirdi Saibaba temple. I used to chant the holy name of all 12 Jyotirlinga along with holy name of the Lord of Mount Kailash. I chant “Kailashanadhar”. I used to chant internally or even chant aloud in temple.
I do this chanting whenever I am offering fire woods in the holy Dhuni of Sai or whenever I am sweeping the temple. I see Shiva everywhere. I remember him deeply. Just that, I don’t even desire to travel to all these Jyotirlinga or even Mount Kailash. I know my life. I have my responsibilities as a Son. I have an old mother to take care.
The maximum I could do is, take her to a beautiful temple near Coimbatore called Avinashi. I love the Lord Shiva and Parvathi there. I am happy visiting these near by temples so that I can take my mother back home the same day.
