Sairam friends,
TDLR: If you are trying to escape grief and depression through your friend’s advice, it might not be the right advice for you. It’s better to be alone. I wanted to write this article for more than 5 years on how Sai warns me in dream.
Last night, I went to Saibaba temple a bit early and was listening to a podcast. One of this elderly security asked some money as he has pain in leg to visit a doctor the day before. I asked him if he visited the Doctor. He said, seems, there’s a camp organized by temple and he’s going to check there itself.
I do not believe in any such “Clubs and fake NGOs”.
Several years back, outside the Saibaba temple, a lady used to take alms with her son. One of the temple admin staff told me, these clubs came and we suggested, the boy needs support to continue studying. They gave sweets and went back. The admin staff said, what will the boy do with a sweet he got once?
Why I believe that I do not have any good friends?
My Sister is lucky in a way. Her college friends are still in touch with her. This December, she’s going to stop in Frankfurt to visit her friend for 2 days and only then reach India though I am not happy with it. I messaged Katya not to talk to anyone in Germany.
I don’t think I had ever had a good friend. Even if I had, they will disappear gradually. I believed those I know in Saibaba temple were my friends.
When my Father passed away in 2021, none came to my home as it was pandemic and they were scared. My father passed away due to aortic aneurism and these idiots were assuming whatever they wanted to. Well, they did not come even after 6 month.
Now, if someone in Sai community passed away, these people will do all drama to visit their home together and I will tell them, I will go alone.
Anyway, the place I live is 10 kms from Saibaba temple. Some of my Father’s friends came. I asked all my relatives not to come as it was pandemic. My sister cried a lot and wanted to come. I felt it’s not safe for them to travel to India during pandemic. I told her that Appa wants us to meet when we are happy and asked her not to come. We were on video call all day and night for the next 1 week.
My Amma was not well for the next 15 days. The night my father passed away, It was just me and my Mother. I held her palm and slept.
I wanted to keep away from all my friends in Temple after my Appa passed away.
When I went to Saibaba temple here in Coimbatore, I looked at Sai and cried a lot. It’s easy to advice others not to cry but It was unbearable for me. My Amma told me to be normal and talk to everyone. So, I talked but deep in me, I tell to myself that these are not good friends. So, sometimes, I feel like staying calm and won’t talk.
Grief is pathetic. It will make you find a way out. Be careful during these stages in life.
1.A Friend asked me to join him for a drink
Consuming alcohol in western countries is different from how it is done here.
I don’t drink for reasons unknown. I am also not against anyone drinking. If you drink responsibly, then, it’s fine. Responsibility includes your own health. I know some men who are married, having major health setbacks but they will continue to drink.
One of this friend from previous company called me to come with him to a bar. I usually go to bar with friends once in a year, when I was in full time job and wonder why I did it? If I am not drinking why should I be there?. In those 8 years, I would have gone with these guys approximately 8 times or less but I have nothing to do there. Snacks were also not good in the places these idiots went. Now, I am thinking, that I should have spent those moments doing something else or been to Saibaba temple.
Anyway, when this guy called few month after my Father passed away,
I simply went with him, he drank, I dropped him and came back home.
That night, Saibaba appeared in dream and the message was simple. Sai means to say, there are chances that you might get into the habit of drinking as you were happy earlier but now due to grief you might assume that drinking will help. So, Sai warned me never to accompany anyone while they drink.
I followed it to my heart to this day.
He called me twice after this dream and I politely said I don’t feel like coming.
Never do anything just to please your friends. If you don’t drink you don’t need to waste your time in a filthy, dark space.
2.A friend from Delhi gave advice which may not be suitable for me
I know this girl for more than 5-6 years now.
Many Sai friends were very kind to me when my Father passed away. I was deeply in pain.
This girl told me, Venkat, you should be on this app where you will meet someone to hangout.
That night, Saibaba warned me in dream saying, it will lead to unnecessary problems in life.
Many of you might assume, Saibaba will come and speak. No. I rarely have such direct messages from Saibaba. The dreams will be very simple. Sai will show consequences of what might happen if I do something which is not right.
I can’t even express the dream here. Many of you are desperate to meet someone and hangout with them. For some people, it works. These are unnatural way of forcing ourselves to get into others life. You might think this applies only to dating apps. I personally believe this also applies to a matrimonial website.
Many years back, Saibaba even asked me not to be on a matrimonial website. I followed it.
According to Saibaba, it might work for millions but not for me. This is why I always say it was Sai’s blessings that I never got married. He knows what is good for us. May be, he thought, I better be alone.
It’s important for me to write this because many of you are desperate to meet someone on a dating app or a matrimonial website. Well, it might work for you but remember, you can’t trust anyone these days.
You can argue that while Saibaba is guiding me through dreams, he may not be doing it to you. Well, Sai gives you hints. Even this article could be a hint. So, whatever you do in life, give importance to your guru. Seek his guidance. He will give you only what you can handle in life.
I have done mistakes and regret it
Sai dreams has done both good and bad to me. When I say bad, I get emotionally attached to the dreams Sai blessed me with. I believe with heart and soul. But some dreams were strange and it has got nothing to do with reality.
I have done mistakes in the past and regret it. I get obsessed with the dreams Saibaba shows me. I start to like people I see in dream. Many such dreams has really confused me to this day. Sai eventually won’t do bad for us is all I know.
Especially, a dream I had about a girl at work was humiliating. I keep asking Saibaba to answer me for the pain I had due to that but he never answers. You can’t demand answers from Saibaba. You can only assume that it was part of my journey.
My journey eventually made me change the way I pray
These days, I pray Saibaba to take me to my Father.
I have got nothing much to do with my life.
Last night, I was not able to sleep until 2 AM. I felt, I should live as in future my niece my need me to say some good words.
Learn to live alone. Even if you assume that you have good friends, they won’t be with you when you need or the way you need them.
I love chanting. I never have to do it intentionally. I naturally chant Sai’s holy name or any Gods name in mind repeatedly. This has helped me live alone.
Om Sai Ram
Venkat
You could msg me from contact page.
