Sairam friends,
I am too sad these days as I am not able to find a girl with whom I really feel completely in Love or you can say someone with whom I feel secured. When my parents hurry due to their health issues to get me married, I keep praying Sai to show me the right girl because its one life and I wish to live it good with my kind of girl.
Sometimes, I really like few girls I come across in matri sites or the ones my parents suggests me but I have this Fear of that it may not working out in the long run. You see, Girls have dreams of their own and I don’t want to spoil that interfering in their life. Further I dint yet meet someone in whom there’s this glory or acceptance you feel completely secured about.
So I keep waiting making parents worry. I keep praying Saibaba to help me make them Happy. Hope Sai does a Leela soon.
Anyway, That’s my update of the day about what’s running in my mind.
Now let’s focus on something I wish to express to Sai devotees especially women who got married.
The past several years I have been getting mails from women telling their problems in Married life. Sometimes it will be simply that my Husband doesn’t love me, In law’s are cruel or my children doesn’t listen to me etc. At times the mails I get really shocks me because there are few men who physically abuse their wife and hurt them to core. There are few children who treats their Mother very badly as they grow up.
I have got mails from women who got admitted to hospital within a month after her marriage as she was not able to bear her husbands short temper. What really makes me irritated is when women write me that their Husband hurt them and their parents, Speaks bad about her parents and treats her very badly etc.
In 2008 when I was in Mumbai, A lady wrote me looking at StarSai and told me she wants to talk to me. She told me that she even lost hearing sensation in one of her ears as her Husband beat her hard years back. What I admired was she loves to live with the same Man for lifetime. Yes. Life time. She seems to have parents who has hurt her during her childhood and now her husband too was not caring.
Think about fate of women who didn’t had true love for lifetime? Many of you who read this must have been blessed with wonderful parents and husband. So be happy about it. There is always short comings in everyone of us but make sure your misunderstandings disappear in few hours.
When women write me about worst problems faced in their husbands home, I myself indirectly write them better come out of this relationship. I never say get divorce because I must not be the one who induce separation but unity. All said and done, there’s a limit a women can bear and beyond that its better to keep away. She can tell her problems to elders at home, her very close friends or her parents who can guide her and take decision that’s good for her life.
Now I wrote enough about families where Men are wrong.
At times but very rarely Wife becomes problematic. They have some bad relationship or hurt their husband for various reasons and move out of his life casually. Some of these women even have a child. These are not bad women but situation makes them take wrong decisions. They themselves must realize their mistakes and lead a pure life with their family.
In America, I see some women perceive bringing up children as a burden and even disappear from the town one fine day. I was shocked to read such news stories in CNN about women feeling stressful for managing children and husband and hence they run out of the place!
See the CNN News article – Why there are more walk-away moms
The story reports
“According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of single fathers has been rising steadily, from more than 600,000 in 1982 to more than 2 million in 2011. Anecdotally, too, we’re hearing more from mothers who leave their children due to choice or circumstance”
One such lady came back after 10 years. Are you going to do this to your child? Getting divorce gives similar stress and pains to your children. Some children learn to adjust but some really can’t. I say this to both Men and Women who plan to divorce. If you have children. Sit calm and quietly think if there’s something which can be worked out. Take your time to do it. Write down what are the positive and negative aspects in your relationship and think peacefully what can be changed.
If you can’t find a solution, Worship Lord Ganesha and Goddess Durga.
Worship Goddess Durga and Lord Ganesha
Listen to Shirdi Sai Baba aarti regularly at home.
and read Sai Satcharitra or any Good spiritual books.
Try to see life ten years from now and take a good decision.
Sometimes separation is good and most of the times living united works better. Kindly do not mail me as I am not the right guy to suggest what’s good for you. I have humble prayers to Shirdi Saibaba to show you what’s good for your life.
There are girls very casually telling that they had physical relationship with their boy friend and the guy is now getting married to another girl which hurts them and they are in depression etc. Similarly there are men who say the same.
You are not alone.So many have done this mistake and now a days I am not shocked about it. I can only request youngsters who read this to be pure.
Unless you marry someone, be clear about your limits. There’s no guarantee that your relationship will lead you to Marriage.
I can’t blame them as the world has become like this but they too have to come out of such worries and learn to lead a pure peaceful life. You can’t say such girls are bad also. They too are good at heart and go through worst depression. Why all this pains? It would have been better if you know your limits right?
You have your parents to show you loads of love. So be strong internally and Kindly do not wait for your loved ones to come back to you. Focus on your education or career or simply Sai. Gradually your life will be good.
Coming back to Women who are married and who have some misunderstanding with their Husband. Trust me, No man or women are kind always. At times your husband would have hurt you or might have taken you for granted for years. That doesn’t mean he didn’t loved you at all.
I get mails from Men who say they really feel bad for hurting their wife and wish she comes back to them. Well, It won’t unless the girl realizes its worth living with her husband again. If your Husband really has mistakes which can be changed, kindly see if things can be shorted out. See if something better can be done about it. Speak to elders in your family and take good decision.
I am writing this mail as I see there are lots of divorce happening in India and abroad. Especially when it comes to our country, a single women is never treated properly in the society. Further, Some women do little mistakes and hurry in taking wrong decisions in choosing the right guy as husband and also at times misunderstanding the right husband.
So take your time. Have patience and see what can be done to “Stay United”
Yes. I am for staying United as I believe families are made to live in Harmony !
You see, Most men drink or have other bad habits . They can be tolerated but some men are addicted to bad habits.This has to be changed. I have tried to imagine some project that helps Men and women come out of bad habits. Even today I was thinking about it. Its really not easy to do it friends. I can only show what’s good for all of us. One has to change on their own.
If your Husband physically abuses you or really has worst bad habits, then do what’s good for you based on your parents guidance because I believe a women must be treated good for her to lead a peaceful life.
You see. Every couple on earth has misunderstanding. Just that some exceeds the border and leads to separation. So as I said, list out what are the good things about your relationship, pray saibaba to show you a way and take decision that’s good for you.
“Your Husband Loves you – He would have hurt you, taken you for granted but he still loves you”
Why I am writing this article for Women? Its because I know majority of families, Men are in the wrong side and women tries to tolerate her maximum but some girls dream of a life without any problems and takes sudden decision. This can be avoided. Silently observe what’s good for you and take good decision.
This article is dedicated to women and men who wish to “Stay United”
If you have children, Please think how it would have been if your parents were separated when you were kids? Learn to live in harmony because your Children needs your love.
Please please please don’t mail me because am really too soft to listen to some stories. My reply won’t help you and only elders in your family or your very close friends whom you can trust can help you better than me. All I have is Humble prayers to Sainath.
Love,
Venkat
Always in the holy feet of Shirdi Saibaba
