What will I write in future Saibaba?

Sairam friends,

Its a beautiful full moon day but I din’t felt like going to Shirdi Saibaba temple and came home directly.  I lit lamps and was chanting Sai’s holy name sitting infront of the Sai Statues in my room. I looked deep into Sai and spoke to him. I went outside, saw the full moon, joined my palm and bowed to the Mother.  I prayed for my family and also for everyone to be blessed.

StarSai is a Temple for Sai and I am supposed to write about Shirdi Saibaba. Probably, that’s what many devotees expect me to. My idea is different. I try to relate worldly happenings and relate it with Sai.

May be in future, I plan to do some real writings in praise of Shirdi Saibaba.

Most of my time is spent at work and hence I am writing about incidents and experiences happening there. I feel Sai keeps me in a place because he gives me experiences through it to learn life better. Now a days, I am really sad and worried inside myself but externally, I try to be happy.

I make fun of my friends, I share what I read online, I walk here and there at work place, Read. Work. Speak and do an analysis of how long it takes to drink my next coffee ..he he… Everyone likes to make fun of the process happening at work place and how foolish they are. I actively involve in such conversations and tell them how stupid these people are. On the other side, I also try to keep myself in their position and realize, may be they do it because they believe its right.

We all think what we do is right and its good for our self and the rest of the  organization.

The world really is full of kids out there but people think they are too smart. I have seen some elderly people with years of experience taking the most idiotic decisions on planet Earth.

After all this, suddenly I get so upset about my life that I feel tears in my eyes. Then I get back to my Sai and think about him because the more we remember Sai, the better our life will be.

Today, I was thinking two important things about what I write in StarSai.

1. What will I write if I am not a part of this work place? I need a platform to live and may be work place is just a platform to have different experiences. To earn my living and to be dependent on something. May be Sai doesn’t like me being on my own too early. One of the reason Sai likes to continue my work here is because irrespective of all my insecurities, Sai knows my Vision is not good enough. I don’t have a real vision to pursue. So may be Sai thinks, I must simply adjust what ever happens and be calm.

2. If I get married, how will the girl expect me to express myself in StarSai?

This is something I am really concerned because you can write as if you are so good,kind and divine when you are not married because that’s how your parents will perceive you.  A wife won’t. She will know all the  stupidities in me…he he… My parents may not bother about my negatives because we all have out own ups and downs but if I marry someone I personally don’t know, my negatives will bother her a lot.

This is one of the important reason I don’t like the girls my parents suggest. I don’t see a friend in them and irrespective of me getting old, I feel its better to be single than to marry someone too practical in life.

I am not so different from others but I told Sai to make sure, if I marry, it must be his girl or else its OK.

So is StarSai so important?

It is.

I may not write here everyday but when I do, my writings must have devotion, honestly and truthfulness in it. I must express what I feel openly in various issues.

I wrote this article especially because I wanted to express my concern about StarSai and my desire to keep it alive forever.

What will I write in future Saibaba?

I just know that you care for me and I care for your children which is why StarSai is important for both of us. I may not have time and mood to personally guide devotees but over the years, some Sai children has been benefited by what I write.

StarSai is my love. Life and breath.

Venkat