Couple of month back, something happened at work and I tried to suppress it as I don’t want to shout at anyone at work. I tried to be calm and adjust. Something happened on Thursday which made me shout at few people. I realized the problem is because I did not direct my anger on people who actually ruined my name at work. If something goes wrong. we can’t easily speak out at work place. We are supposed to be calm.
At the same time, I never did any mistake for anyone to humiliate me like this looping me in some issues which honestly shocks me. The best part is Sai kept asking me to be calm as he said if people did something bad, they will pay for it and I must not react. I was calm. I showed tooth as if I don’t know anything. I was calm all these days.
There’s a limit to it and I believe its not right to be calm at times. Seems I have to show these people its not worth even looking at them.
I again and again wondered what calmed me down all these days. One surprising thing happened. A Sai friend of mine sent a video clipping of Shirdi Saibaba’s serial in which Baba says “Why do people harm others. By the time they realize their mistakes, their bad karma will start to show them the consequences. As you sow, so you reap”
This video and the way Sai spoke made me feel that Sai wants me to be calm.
Now, I can’t control being calm and praying Sai to do his best to keep my mouth shut. If I speak out, I will create a big scene for what these people did to me and don’t want that to happen.
Anyway, Saibaba taught me a lot over these years and one of them is adjusting what ever happens and how ever people humiliate me or hinder my peace of mind and spoil my reputation. The problem is when I keep this in mind, suddenly my anger is getting diverted on people who are loosely connected with the issue. Instead, its better to show it to people who harmed me.
As of now, I wanted to be calm but if these people keep on playing around with me, I might have to react.
I have followed what ever Baba has asked me to do all these years.
Hope Sai shows me a way out!