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Shirdi Saibaba has to take care of both simple and ambitious girl

Written by venkatraman

Sairam friends,

I am not sure if I am a feminist but I care for equality. Equality in society, at home and in work place. Apart from the inequality happening within men in workplace, there are organizations in India and across the world which doesn’t know the right meaning of “Equal opportunity employer”.

To me equal opportunity employer doesn’t mean the percentage of women vs men who work in an organization. There could be just a single women working in a team of 10 men but if they have quality to be a leader, one must give her an opportunity. On the other hand, very few leaders actually spend time enhancing their skills once they reach that position. This applies both to men and women. They simply run the show and get things done but their knowledge will always be the same. These kind of leaders are the one’s who spoil culture in an organization.

Couple of years back, I wrote this article –  In most companies, Women are treated equality

Just because Microsoft CEO, Satya Nadella said that women must trust that the system will give the right raise (and not ask for raises), he was pulled into a controversy. He has spoken based on his experience and not really meant to hinder the growth of women employees in Microsoft or any where else.

Sheryl answers this issue with these words –

“Hard work and results should be recognized by others, but when they aren’t, advocating for oneself becomes necessary. As discussed earlier, this must be done with great care. But it must be done.”

I have seen some women employees are given a position they don’t really deserve and the companies never question them as they dominate pathetically and get work done. ( Same applies to some men too who are handle position they don’t deserve.)

Leaders who don’t work on their skills and knowledge can better give way for others

Its unfortunate that several organizations suffer since the top management or team leaders or project managers for that matter are dumb and they do no effort to enhance their skills and knowledge. So I am not at all promoting a women who doesn’t deserve a better position. I am promoting the attitude to accept a women who really has made contribution. It’s unfortunate that in the years to come, some global companies, trying to prove they have provided equal opportunity might give opportunity to women employees who really don’t have the skills and qualities to be on top position. So girls who do believe they have skills must speak up and ask for it.

Here’s what Sheryl Sandberg says

“Men are promoted based on their potential but Women are promoted for their past accomplishments.” So people need a proof of their skills to grow ahead.

Further, Men working under a women might think they are too “Bossy”. Listen. If you treat people will humanity, none will call you bossy. I have seen some Women managers forget being human as they simply wanted to get work done.

Let’s not talk about such harsh women. Let’s talk about good girls.

Women are taught to look pretty

Yesterday, I saw this girl at work wearing a bangle with beautiful flowers in Red and Green. I teased her saying ‘You are behaving like child or teenager trying to match the color of your dress with bangle”. She asked “So you mean people who are elderly won’t match like this?”. I told her “I just want to tease you”.

When asked where she bought the bangle/bracelet, she said “In a shop in Badrinath“. I had more fun asking “You went on a pilgrimage and bought ornaments for yourself”. I can’t play around with everyone like this unless they are my good friends.

The point is Women naturally have keen interest to show themselves pretty and they are taught to do so right from childhood. Are they also taught to be ambitious and never give-up in what they dream to do? I know several women who wanted to achieve. After few years, they are not even continuing the journey towards where they wanted to reach.

The reason is, there are 2 kinds of people on Earth

  1. Those who wanted to be on Top of the ladder in their career or business
  2. Those who want to run their family and have a job/business just to bring up their children.

Not all people are ambitious. Some are happy with what they have or accept that their life as it goes. That’s why vast majority of us are living in peace. It’s completely fine to be satisfied with what you have in life but kindly think if you are using your skills and potential to its best.

Sai baba has both kinds of devotees:

The Simple girl  Vs Ambitious girl

For example, in a family of 2 sisters, elder sister will be happy to leave her job, have a child and run her family. Younger sister too will be having a child and  running a family but without leaving her job . 5 years down the line, can you ask Saibaba why the elder sister is not blessed with a good career? Saibaba will let you live the life you want but based what’s good for each one, Sai expects them to accept few failures. May be, Sai believes the elder Sister’s child needs more attention of her mother. Apart from all this explanation I give, I expect Women to be actively engaged in something good.

How are some women contributing even by sacrificing their career ?

I know girls who are working in Google and I also know girls who are jobless for more than 2 years. Some girls who are jobless worry about their career but some girls are really active at home. I know wonderful Sai devotee girls who take care of their Father in law, their husband who’s not in good health etc.

Children must be nurtured to love Art, Science and Technology 

The whole ecosystem is trying to trick girl child with Pink stuff. They are naturally asked to like a doll like a princesses. Why should all the girl child be interested in Cinderella and a boy child be interested in Super hero’s? There’s only one Cinderella but there are several super hero’s to choose from. The toy industry is an example of the psychology behind how we bring up a girl child. You don’t have to impart manly behavior in them but give them options to choose. May be, she wants to play with a doll which looks like a scientist or an engineer.

When I was speaking to my Sister’s little daughter over Skype she happily shows me her toys. I keep Indian names for some of her stuffed animals. One cute Monkey is thus named as “Paandu”.

As soon as I ask hows our “Paandu”, she runs to her little room and brings me the Monkey.  Other day, she showed me a girl doll which was different and said “She’s a Scientist” (Read this News article –  Lego could make figurines to honor NASA’s female astronauts and scientists )

She added “I don’t like Cinderella”.

My Ma said “You too will become a scientist like your Mom”.

Nurture your children to love something meaningful. It could be Music or painting or science. Basically, get them books to read and make reading as their habit. I understand it doesn’t work for all kids but try to show them there’s so much they can learn.

The Cinderella effect continues for lifetime in every decision a women makes

Even in this era, when ever a girl tells me she’s in love or getting married, I could realize their expression is as if “Cinderella has met her prince who came in a horse and carried her away”.  I too enjoy Cinderella. I don’t complain. I just wish girls take the right decision when they get married. Sheryl says that most Women leaders agree that they were able to make it big because of supportive husband and family.

“Of the twenty-eight women who have served as CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, twenty-six were married, one was divorced, and only one had never married.10 Many of these CEOs said they “could not have succeeded without the support of their husbands, helping with the children, the household chores, and showing a willingness to move.”- Sheryl Sandberg

Cinderella

This is exactly what some girls behave like when they fall in love or get married. Yes. He comes in horse! Courtesy of Cinderella Movie

I started writing this article especially since I admire Sheryl Sandberg,  American technology executive, activist, and author and current COO of Facebook Inc. Her book “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead” made my weekend.

The women who asked for Pregnancy parking space:

Apart from all her other accomplishments, she’s her one who made Google’s Larry page allot an exclusive parking space for pregnant women. Seems she had severe foot ache as she always got parking space too far and had to walk long. So one fine day, she walked into Larry’s office and requested him for it.

I have personally realized that top management doesn’t realize few needs of employees which has to be expressed politely, honestly and on time.

Sheryl Sandberg

“Professional ambition is expected of men but is optional—or worse, sometimes even a negative—for women. “She is very ambitious” is not a compliment in our culture.”
― Sheryl Sandberg,

Here are few Sheryl Sandberg quotes I liked

“We need more men to sit at the table… at the kitchen table.”

Ha ha…I think many men are already doing that

“Women need to shift from thinking ‘I’m not ready to do that’ to thinking ‘I want to do that – and I’ll learn by doing it.”

and one final quote

“Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.”

This is very true because there are leaders who simply show their authority and do nothing to create an “influence” to make you do something better. You start to hate them and never bother when they are not around. I don’t think I have come across such a leader until now in my life. None has influenced me.

That’s it friends…

Shirdi Saibaba has to take care of both simple and ambitious girl. To Sai, none are bigger and smaller.

I respect simple girls who run their family sacrificing their career or business.

Be satisfied for the good karma you do.

I also wish that girls who are ambitious must do all they can to follow their dream.

Sai blessings

Venkat

( My tooth pain is better. Infact no pain at all but feeling sleepy always due to medicines which I had to take for another 3-4 days.)

 

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venkatraman

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