Its been 10 days since i had taken care of dhuni in nagasai mandhir as i was busy since my sister had come from U.S . I went to nagasai mandhir this morning and felt very painful to see heap of wooden sticks and coconuts filled up to the ground surface in dhuni. For years i have not seen dhuni in such a condition. My friends do take care of dhuni when am away.probably they dint had time this week.
I decided to remain in temple untill the crowd move away and clean the dhuni.
I used the iron rod two of them to clean…we have to dig…it was too hot as its thursday. I felt a true devotee is the one who knows what the guru wants even before the guru instructs him. I cant wait for saibaba’s commands to clean dhuni. Dhuni is my love and life which is wrote in www.shirdisaibabadhuni.com ,
While digging the ashes to filter down the iron bars in dhuni, the fire was too high. I started feeling the iron rod is getting the heat to my palm. Though am used to it, as its summer afternoon and dhuni is also over hot, i could feel the heat coming to my palm quickly.
I dont want to stop digging dhini. To me its a gift from sai. Many times i moved away when the fire raises and saw my palm. two – three places it was swollen, the palm became pink like never before. Some devotees were still in temple and i requested them to be careful as coconuts attimes burts in dhuni.
I was getting thirsty but cant leave the dhuni door open and go away to have water. I continued to dig…
I say this every time i diggg and stir the ashes to filter down the dhuni tank. One old man asked what i am doing. I told him its the sacred ash of saibaba called udi . Its collected from ashes which comes from devotees offering and we sai friends get down the tank and filter the pure udi every 20 days. I told him i was away for over 2 weeks and now i am satisfied that i am able to do this work.
He smiled and told ” Oh you are satisfied, lets always think good and do good, good will happen to us.”
I continued to dig dhuni..my sky blue shirt had dusts which emerges from dhuni ashes. i was worried as at times my mother used to say how hard its for the maid to wash my shirt. I always say her , My shirt looks black and dirty but even touching it is a blessing. Its Saibaba’s Udi.
The shop keeper was walking by that way to fill his water bottle with water. I told him, Anna, when you go back,give me some water.
I contined to dig..suddenly i felt burning sensation in my righ palm, i took out the iron rod , hagged it on the grill , looked at palm and then the dwarakamai saibaba portrait , I told ” “Sai, you teared my skin ”
i went to the pipe, washes my palm and face and again digged, i was satisfied as most part of ashes went inside .I had to do more work tommorow but i am exhausted now. I closed the dhuni door, locked it.
The shop keeper came with the water bottle, i happily drank water .
When my sister and brother in law was here, they were having a idea that i am too much into sai baba and not behaving like normal guy. They hurt me with some words i can’t bear though they did that to make me realize i also must try to be successful and happy and not worry like this always. It was this reason i tried to avoid going to temple during their stay in india . I was with them taking care of their baby katya who is just 3 years old but says “Sai baba” when ever she looks at a picture of sai in my house.
anyway, i was too happy today as i finally came back to my normal life of taking care of dhuni after 10 days. I took the bubos in left palm and skin about to tear in right palm as a gift from saibaba .
My sai friends, ramanujam, udayakumar were there and i demanded them to have coke with me . Ramanujam asked do you have lots of money, i said ” I have 100 Rs.” with a exitement as if i have crores. We had a 2 liter coke bottle,soon it was member of 5 sai devotees who serve sai. i drank 3 glasses of coke. They were talking about few things…about temple. some issues…..etc etc….
Deep in me i was wondering how my sister and brother in law thought i am not enjoying my life. This too is a party. My palm had few hot bubos,even if i wash it was burning but i enjoyed holding the glass with the cool coke in it. To me it was relaxing. To me this too is happiness and this really sounds like peace to me.
who else can smile , chat and have coke when their palm had burning sensation. Its all about our mental disposition friends. Sai says the best devotee is the one who realizes what he needs before sai himself instructs it. I could have gone back home even after looking at the heap of ashes in dhuni.
Friends, Shirdi Sai baba is the Guru who never speaks . At times he speaks in dreams to few but not always. To me if we really feel sai and see the world through Sai, we can hear him speaking. Its not words . Our languages are different. Its his leela to bring us the thought. When i saw heap of ashes in dhuni, i realizes , Saibaba wants me to clean it and i did.
I heared it with out him speaking. I dont mean to say i am best devotee. I also have my draw backs. What i say is to the world who thinks millions of saibaba devotees follow saibaba who is NO MORE. Some dont realize though sai had his samadhi in 1918, he is still working to help his children.
Here is a Guru who wont speak. Who wont say , Who wont instruct . Who wont guide . But he is doing it every moment if only you know to realize how this sweet saint is taking care of you and your family like his own eyes.
I came back home, removed my shirt before my mom could notice the ashes , removed it , rolled and kept in self. I had some food. Kept a saibaba book infront of plate, askes him do you want and gave him like we feed children and had the food myself.
I applied coconut oil in my palm, laid down, hugged a saibaba book to my chest and told saibaba.
“sai, i dont have a good career or life style as the world expects..I am happy atleast you are making me do this dhuni work. This gives me happiness and satisfaction.”
Friends, Hope you realized saibaba is a saint who never speaks with his voice and words or languages… If you truly deeply show your love on saibaba, surely you can feel he’s always speaking.
Sai , at a time when people are being cheated by false gurus that he has powers to speak to saibaba or saibaba speaks with him etc, this sai leela is written to help each and every sai devotee realize
‘Every good word and prayer you say sai, sai listes to it, Every moment you truly love saibaba, sai guides you internally and makes you do the right thing .You never hear him speaking. His languages are different.”
Sai, you are my heart, you are my soul.
Om sri sainathaya namaha