sairam friends Many things happened which made me realize i have to take a effort to realize sai . So by sai grace started to chant Sai Sai Sai for 7 days.i might speak once in a while to parents, sai friends n friends in nagasai as i cant avoid . I shall keep a paper with me to write down when i stop chanting n again wat time i start.
- Shirdi Saibaba naam smaran Sai Sai Sai for 7 Days
I am going to offer this prayer to sai to help me know sai .yesturday i got a dream as if sai is telling that Atma is the girl you love. Sai wants me to do a soul search. Let me chant Sai Sai Sai forever all my life This effort from 23 november to 30 november 2009 will be my first week of chanting sai sai sai with notable effort…i gave my chanting counter to sai friend and am not able to get a new one now. tried a lot.so i am going to keep a paper n write down from wat time to wat time i chant n when i broke. i shall try not to speak much to sai friends on phone n also in temple .
At times we cant avoid so i will note when i stop chanting n add these minutes by chanting the 8th day…
Hope saibaba helps me realize atma may be my words are not meaningful when i say realize atma…anyway what matters is i have to chant with love and devotion on shirdi saibaba Om sainathaya namaha venkat sairam friends
First day of chanting Sai Sai Sai 23rd november 2009 = From afternoon 1.19 P.M to 2 P.M chanting sai sai sai reading some book 2.30 slept chanting sai sai sai i concentrated on saibaba with heart and soul i know only if i sleep will get a dream 1. Sai is Ram and Shiva accepting bhel leaves offering and greatness of why sai created sacred dhuni
I saw a dream like this..I am going to my grand fathers house ( mothers father whos no more ) in village in rajavallipuram. Its like i live in first floor of the house. In reality its like temple. I come down stairs to enter main hall .
Its a shiva temple.A sai devotee from Nagasai mandhir is giving Bhel leaves ( villva ilai ) to all the devotees.He is distributing the bhel leaves to devotees who comes out after having darshan of Shiva lingam. Though the main idol is shiv ling, out side to right of temple, i see a ukshava murthi made of bronze. This idol is Sita,Ram and Lakshman , Hanuman sitting facing Ram bowing to him. The surprising thing is that i see a hole above the roof. Some devotee is cutting the garland of bhel leaves and offering exactly over the idol of Ram every 10 seconds..
I can see the bhel leaves falling over Lord RamaFriends, from this dream i realized Saibaba is both Ram and Shiva. If we see Sai baba as Ram, he is ram, If we see Saibaba as Lord Shiva he accepts our devotion as Lord Shiva and the beauty if the offering for both is bhel leaves which is saibaba means to say what ever you offer, theres no rules, any offering with love is accepted by me.
The dream continues. I go farward and come around the temple gopuram claimbing over the ladder. I get a message to bless me father with good health and long life, i have to light lamps. I come down infront of main hall of shiva temple. 3 priests say something to me and enter the shiva temple. I realize towards left is a Lord Lakshmi Narasimhar temple.
i climb over the 3 steps.It was pitch dark. Somehow i get a message, Light lamps or atleast take a piece of paper and burn them infront of the Lord Lakshmi Narasimhar . It will be considered as Lamp (some light for God is also powerful , not just a lamp )… Since there’s no lamp to light, i am lighting few chits of paper infront of Lakshmi Narasimhar idol, its burning . Suddenly i realize from the opposite house a devotee comes into Lakshmi narasimhar temple. I try to hide the paper chits burning as we people only light lamps .
He doesnt mind that the chits are burning but i off them n hide them in palm. He looks at the devotion to Lakshmi narashimhar in my face and asks who are you.
I say i am grandson of Sankarasubramaniam pillai ( my grandpa’s name )..he smiles.my mama comes and i see my mother sitting on steps of lakshmi narasimhar temple sadly. Thats the dream… from this second part of dream i understood, God accepts not only lighting lamps but even any thing that creates light as offering when the lamps are not available.
Probably i understood this is the reason saibaba created the ever burning sacred dhuni ,like a Agni hotra where we can offer sticks, wooden logs, coconuts and sacred food products. My mother loves Lord Lakshmi Narasimhar very much and says when we chant the below mantra 108 times , Lakshmi Narasimhar comes to life immediately to protect us…
Naarasimho mahaasimho Divyasimho mahaabala
Ukkrasimho mahaadeva Upendra shaak niloshana
Rowdra , Sowrir , Mahaaveera Vikkrama , paraakrama,
More info about Lakshmi Narasimhar in DattatreyaLotus.com I woke up, recollected the dream…
I had few chits of paper, burnt them infront of Sai Mahalakshmi, collected them in paper. Then i did abishekam to Sai in my mandhir gave prasad to parents and writing this experience. When i am writing i try to say Sai Sai Sai but its not easy as we apply thought and mind when we write. Om sainathaya namaha November 23rd 2009 – evening 5.45 .start chanting sai sai sai again.. Om sainathaya namaha
Evening of Day 1 chanting :sairam friends By 6.30 P.M i went to saibaba temple in my place ,lit lamps, smiled to dhuni priest and went inside the main hall to have darshan. I love to see the painting of shirdi saibaba kept behind the main nagasai statue. since i got dream about Lakshmi Narasimhar i lit the lamp remembering Lord Lakshmi narasimhar.
All the time i was chanting Sai sai sai, Me, my sai friend Ramanujam and another friend were speaking about sai bhakti for few minutes. I told them i am reading my MBA books relating it not with products/services but from saibabas perpective, when sai devotees loose their trust on sai, what are the problems faced by sai ( at times devotee who dont have money,gets angry on sai, some devotee has no time, some dont have proper guidance to be in saibabas path of light , ) … This way i was speaking few minutes . Honestly i accept it wasn’t a intelligent conversation but its ok at times even if we speak childishly about sai baba. I told them i have started to chant Sai Sai Sai in mind and while talking also i try to chant. I also added, at times its ok even if i dont chant because i am now speaking about saibaba. My motive is for these 7 days i have to chant Sai Sai Sai, sing his leela, speak about his greatness. somehow my mind should be filled with Sai . Ramanujam appreciated my effort. Then around 8.10 P.M i was digging the dhuni so that the ashes gets down the tank. I got down the tank n wiped the udi .
Huge amount of udi has been collected in tank and i have to bend down n use a iron rod to bring the hot new ashes towards me. A little girl who comes to saibaba temple everyday asked me “You are keeping your legs on saibabas vibuti” ..I thought for a while and told her “I am lucky” . There are thousands of sai devotees but very few get this sacred work of collecting the udi from dhuni ( sacred fire of sainath ). When doing so, its not so easy …one has to love the hot tank, infact i never see it hard at all. I happily collect the udi as i believe sai baba is really sitting inside there..
Somekind of childish feeling and i speak to saibaba in mind sitting there.. Theres no other go other than keeping legs over these ashes , when i wipe the udi in tank, when it has been collected for more than 10 days, i have to keep my leg on huge amount of ashes.Once every 10 to 15 days we sai friends will take out the udi in a bucket, put it over a sack and filer it with net..again we will filter the udi with a the filter we use in house for filtering powder used to make chapati probably wheat..he he. Then ramanujam got many big wooden logs..he told me theres little fire in dhuni, so offer coconuts and the wooden logs..I did as said..the dhuni was truly glittering like gold in few minutes due to huge fire.
Then i went near Dhuni Baba, took some udi in my palm and applied 3 lines like shaivates over my forehead , fall on the floor infront of dhuni, prayed that i must chant sai sai sai properly and came back home. Its 11.37 P.M now.
Honestly i dint chant Sai sai sai all the time. I am making myself believe that i can control all other thoughts and think about sai alone. I hope i can do it.. Sai Sai Sai…
Day 2 of Chanting Sai Sai Sai It wasn’t good at all. I dint chant properly all through the morning. Afternoon i started chanting . Since i lay down while powercut at 2.30 , i got a dream like this. There was a water flowing over a big tank , me my father and cousins go there. I go near the wall near the tank, it was falling into a tank holding little water and not so dangerous. I have a Big book in my hand. Suddenly my father realizes there are black color dirt over a purticular page in middle of the book.
I ask my father not to worry and dip the entire book inside the water. The dark dirt gets washed away and i am now shaking the book as if i am swinging it with my hand so that the water will be sprinkled down . I dont mind dipping the book itself inside the water in order to clear the dirt on the pages.
Well, certainly the dream was strange and i was wondering should i add it as experience as it has nothing connected to Saibaba. Ok we are people who drag saibaba inside what ever happens in life. So i told baba, sai if you have a message for me through your sacred Book, i shall open the big Sai Samartha satcharitra and learn the page that gets opened as message for me Priest of Sapthasringi temple divine call to shirdi and Shamas meeting timely meeting with him.
From Chapter 30 of sri sai satcharitra Kakaji vaidya from Vani is a priest in Saptha sringi devi temple who was restless. Goddess appeared in his dream and asked him to go to Baba.Kakaji thought Goddess wants him to go to Triyambakeshwar shiva temple but he dint got peace there. Again goddess said baba means Saibaba of Shirdi. Kakaji was worried how to reach shirdi and whos this Sai baba.
Kshama gets command from saibaba to go to Vani Sapthasringi devi temple :
Mean while in shirdi Kshama was instructed by a astrologer to offer the silver breasts to goddess sapthasringi devi . Saibaba sent him to Sapthasringi temple on time. The priest learning that Kshama was from shirdi the time he wants someone to take him shirdi at once embraced him. Kshama did pooja and offerings to the goddess Sapthasringi devi and they both started to Shirdi . On reaching the place, Kakaji went to the Masjid, and fell at Baba’s Feet. His eyes were soon bedewed with tears, and his mind attained calmness. According to the vision of the Goddess, no sooner did he see Baba, that his mind lost all its restlessness and it became calm and composed.
Kakaji began to think, in his mind, “What a wonderful power is this! Baba spoke nothing, there was no question and answer, no benediction pronounced; the mere darshana itself was so conducive to happiness; the restlessness of my mind disappeared by His mere darshan, consciousness of joy came upon me – this is what is called ‘the greatness of darshan’.”
His vision was fixed on Sai’s feet and he could utter no word. Hearing Baba’s Leelas, his joy knew no bounds. He surrendered himself completely to Baba, forgot his anxiety and cares and got undiluted happiness.
He lived happily there for twelve days and after taking Baba’s leave, Udi and blessings returned home. Since i got this beautiful leela of Sai when i opened the book , i felt surely saibaba will also bless me with a Good darshan soon.
Its 5.30, I listened to Dhoop aarti and now will light lamps in my house, small temple and start to Nagasai mandhir. start to chant sai sai sai… By 6.30 evening i was in Saibaba temple in my place.
I loved to see the beautiful painting if saibaba ..the background has many trees as if like a forest and saibaba beautifully sitting over a stone. This saibaba has a smiling face and i wish some day sai will help me photograph this painting so that i can show to all. When i was standing in the corner and looking at this sai painting chanting Sai Sai Sai, the priest smiled to me, took a beautiful Pink lotus flower offered over the silver snake over the painting n gave me. I felt saibaba is encouraging me to continue to chant sai sai sai..I was really enjoying the time near Dhuni today.I got down inside the tank. I was hurt by one of my sai friend and spoke to saibaba in mind about it, why i keep affection on people who always hurt me and they never want my care.
The dhuni ( sacred fire ) had very little fire. So i went to the corner of the temple where they store heaps of wooden logs. I carried 3 sets of wooden logs for more than 5 times and offered all of them in Dhuni. The little girl near me was cleaning the lamps tray eagerly. I came back to home , kept the lotus flower over the little padhukas of saibaba i have in my prayer room and continued to chant Sai Sai Sai.. Day 2 of chanting Sai Sai Sai was normal..i accept i dint chant all the time. well you might get a doubt now. Is it not wrong to say Naam smaran for 7 days and boldly telling i dint chant in the morning. Yes .
I want to be normal, true and make myself look as a very amature ordinary sai devotee. I don’t want to behave as if i am big self controlled devotee and others have to follow me. My concept is simple. There are so many sai devotees who suddenly loose job , do some pooja and rest of the time worry whats going to happen. Some of them has personal relationship problem. I am going to request all these sai children to start this effort of chanting Sai Sai Sai for 7 days. You dont have to be perfect. Atleast try. Did u not see me doing it … Am i doing it perfectly. No thats not what sai baba wants. Saibaba will appreciate us .
Sai will think ok now this man is atleast trying it. So you also try to do it..its ok if you speak to friends on phone for 5 minutes or have a chat. But once its over again continue to chant. I want all of you to take this effort of chanting Sai Sai Sai or any Small Sai mantra or Any gods name contineously. It really has power. Ok now lets wait for 3rd day…. Om sainathaya namaha Venkat
- Shirdi Sai baba with lamps surrounding him
Om sainathaya namaha 25 :11:2009 – wednesday
Day 3 of chanting Sai Sai Sai
I lit lamp to my Sai and now starting to Nagasai mandhir. Will try to chant sai sai sai all the way and in temple ignoring other thoughts… Conversation with Dhuni priest : Sairam friends, As i reached Nagasai mandhir, my usual habit is to clean the lamps tray , take off all the lamps which got over and put it in a sack. Then i will light all the candles and lamps which is put off by wind. I love doing this.
Folding the Udi packet :I kept chanting Sai Sai Sai and came around dhuni. The dhuni in Nagasai mandhir is the most beautiful paradise for me. I have spent hours coming around it from 2004. I had some conversation with the priest who does pooja to Dhuni baba, the little Sai baba kept in Dhuni Dwarakamai place. He was keeping some sacred ashes inside a piece of paper and taught me how to fold it the other day. Today i my self made a pack of such Udi packet and he teased ‘Dont copy my method” Offered Wooden logs in dhuni – sacred fire of Sai baba :Then i offered some wooden logs inside the dhuni which Ramanujam carried. He usually comes in wednesday afternoon to clean the Dwarakamai. Since thursday is crowded in saibaba temple with thousands of devotees, we clean the dhuni dwarakamai place every wednesday. He asked me to remain in the temple for untill 2.30 and join him in cleaning. I continued to chant sai sai sai . Once in a while i dint but basically it was going on…
Blissful feeling which made me build a Sai baba temple in myself :
When ever we do any good pooja , Naam smaran or pray God for long hours with total devotion, we can feel something in ourself. Some experience it between eye brows in forhead and some in chest . Since i always imagine that theres a Shirdi Sai baba temple inside which Sai is sitting on a stone inside my chest ( my heart ) , while i keep remembering that really Sai baba is there and continue to chant Sai Sai Sai, i will sense something there which i cant put in words. Its a feeling that we can call Bliss or probably experiencing the divine presence.
Cleaning Dwarakamai chanting Sai Sai Sai :
1. P.M – 25th november 2009, As the afternoon aarti is over and devotees went out side the temple, Ramanujam and i started sweeping the Dwarakamai place. Then we filled the water in huge drum near the Dhuni. Many time my sai friends always laugh at me that i am enjoying to pour water and playing while we are cleaning. My feeling is only if we pour lots of water, the Dwarakamai place will be cleaned nicely.
Today since only me and Ramanujam were there, he told me ALWAYS keep in mind, Never waste water just because you have it. In villages elders say “if we waste lots of water, Mahalakshmi wont stay with you” . i did understand his views that one must not waste water but i joked that i know this after spending 31 years in life. Anyway, He asked me to get the washing powder, i had only 25 rupees with me and need to go back home by bus.Theres this departmental store just outside the temple where i always buy TIDE washing powder for 15 rupees . Ramanujam used to say it has a fragrench of a flower.
How to clean Dwarakamai – Pour soap water and nicely press , sweep the broom on floor..he he
Ramanujam mixed it in 2 buckets. I took it near Dhuni baba area, spinkled it on floor, got the broom and started sweeping. He told me nicely press the floor and sweep only then dirt will go. I followed his instructions , nicely poured water in the floor,wall and cleaned it. It took more than a hour.
In my mind i was chanting Sai Sai Sai.. I again went to the woods , carried one and dropped in side dhuni. I told baba, Baba last night we offered so many woods, you ate all. Many times we consider woods as food for Sai babas Dhuni and we believe Sai lives in dhuni.
Let me sweep , Sweep the ground of Saibaba temple :Finally the water which came outside the Dwarakamai place will be spilled on ground of Sai baba temple. So i had to sweep that also. This is the first time Sai gave me a golden opportunity to sweep the main ground and i did happily chanting Sai Sai Sai.
White flower inside a paper kept near Dhuni Baba :
I love the little Sai baba statue kept in Dwarakamai and we call him Dhuni baba. Before starting to pour water there, i cleaned the place near foot of saibaba, suddenly i took a piece of paper and opened it thinking its the udi i folded earliar. To my surprise there were 2-3 white flowers.
In Sai baba temple some people when they want to ask saibaba about a problem, they will keep white flower in a chit and Red in another. Then they will ask someone to pick a chit. If some color flower comes its positive approval from sai or its negative. I just know people offer such chits but i dunno what white flower means. So i asked Ramanujam who was sweeping. He told me White means Saibaba will answer your prayers. Now clean the dwarakamai happily. Saibaba is showing his grace that though you never put chits etc, he made you pick someone else chit and hinted you that he is with you.
Prasad of Saibaba sitting in the varanda : I called up my father and said i will be coming home late. The security kept on asking us to have the prasad sitting in varanda. There was a bucket kept with prasad. I went and had some. Then Ramanujam joined. The security also got us pickle which was so kind of him. Then i came home chanting Sai Sai Sai… Now its evening 6.15 .I will start to Sai baba temple again… Chanting Sai Sai Sai…
Evening in Nagasai Mandhir :I went to Nagasai mandhir i think the true moments of me Chanting Sai Sai Sai , the real feeling that i am doing Naam smaran properly with true love and devotion on Sai baba started by this time.This morning when i woke up , i opened Sai Satcharitra to read message saibaba is giving me for the day.
How to chant Sai Sai Sai with pure devotion
Is it possible to forget our worries, desires, wishes and completely focus on Sai Sai and Sai alone ?
When i opened saibabas book this morning..it came to incident where the Guru will hang his deciple upside down inside the well. He will die a the deciple in one end of the rope and the other end will be hung on the tree near by. There will be only 2-3 feet distance between the deciple and the water surface in the well. After 4-5 hours the Guru turned back to the spot, took the deciple outside the well and asked how you felt. The deciple said “I was in pure bliss” Thats the incident …now coming back to my experience this evening..I offered a coconut in sacred dhuni, lit lamps .
Ramanujam and myself went to ATM to take money and then to a bhel puri shop. While having bhel puri , i told him the above incident from Sai Satcharitra and what he understands from that.. In mind the chanting is going on. He replied saibaba wants us to be inside well and be happy. I said what i understood to him. Its like this.
Lets say i started this effort to chant Sai Sai Sai… all through the process every day , every minute , i was worried about my future, my parents worried about me , whats going to happen and ofcourse some little issues. My mind was not at all completely working with a “Surrender…Total surrender to Sai baba”
So by making the deciple hang upside down in the well , the Guru has taught us the lesson of how to remain devoted to Guru and experience the bliss of Guru Sainath. How ? The water surface is the sansara ( wordly life ) we can include our needs, desires,relationships, attachments etc. When the Guru hung the deciple upside down,he is not comfortable and he can neither reach the water ( samsara – desires, needs etc ). Irrespective of all these discomfort , even when the deciple has not got any benefits for himself , he still remembers the Guru.
Hence he has experienced the Bliss. Similarly, all this day i tried to chant Sai Sai Sai with the feeling that Sai , My great Guru Shirdi Sai baba alone is enough for me. I imagined that i am also tied upside down inside the well and now i have to chant Sai Sai Sayeeeeeee only remembering Saibaba. Hope you liked this message.
It was around 8.20 in night.
Its going to be few minutes for the shej aarti to start. I never go inside main hall for aarti. I remain in dhuni Dwarakamai place. Its my universe. The dhuni priest said the Udi ( sacred ashes ) is over and he wants some for the next day as thursday is crowded .
Down to my Dark, Hot Dhuni tank where i believe sai lives : I immediately opened the Tank near the Dhuni, got down happily to my own personal dark world where i believe Saibaba lives. Its my chidish belief. I say baba i have come down to our Hot warm dwarakamai to speak to you. I took the bucket, a filter , little by little dropped on the filter and thus made half a bucket full of very soft udi. My sai friends asked why are you getting down and filtering the udi now.Its kept in the sack ( stock we had before 10 days ).
I loved doing it as this time i am also chanting Sai Sai Sai. By the time shej aarti of saibaba got over,i got up the tank, gave a packet full of udi to Dhuni priest and dropped some wooden logs. They had kept lots of wooden logs now. I asked tommorow is thursday, many devotees will drop little sticks, so why so many woods. They said no dont worry, Sai baba will have them by this night. Offering Garland to Shirdi Sai baba statue on Top of temple :It was all over. temple is closed. All devotees are out of the gate . 5-6 people were inside. One servant came and asked have you offered the Garland to Sai baba statue above temple ( gopuram ). My sai friend vijaykumar claimed up the iron rod in side . I kept calm for few minutes thinking already Saibaba gave me a opportunity to offer garland which i shared in the below article.
So why should i again offer today. Somehow i felt i am chanting Sai Sai Sai now, so saibaba will surely like me offering the garlands to the statues above temple. I got up the iron rod , claimed up the temple top, took the garland and offered the the statue where Saibaba sits beautifully .
Below in the ground Ramanujam knows am scared fellow n shouted. …Saaayeee..be carefull…..be carefullllllllllll I smiled to him, offered the Garland to Dwarakamai Sai baba and prayed Sai, i am chanting Sai Sai Sai and also writing about it in StarSai, let everyone who reads it with devotion be inspired to chant your name and be blessed. Let their wishes be fulfilled .
Then i came to the Saibaba statue over the Dhuni building to offer the Garland. This time Ramanujam was standing down and shouted. Be careful. I am supposed to take one leg outside , leap ahead and offer the garland. He said its ok offer with left hand only. I leaped ahead, offered the Garland and looked at beautiful Smiling Sai baba. Immediately i heared a voice that belongs to Ramanujam
“Saaayeeee….venkat Saiiiii….You have passed…You have passed” Somehow it was a appreciation from him that being very soft and a person who fears for little things in life, i managed to claimb to top of temple terrace and offer garland to Saibaba. When i got back down and on the way home in bus, i took it as a response from Saibaba. I felt Saibaba has seen if i really realize the greatness of chanting Sai Sai Sai .
As i wrote earlair the first day of chanting was OK., The second day worse, i dint chant full morning time and third day today was a test from Saibaba. By this evening my heart was filled with blissful feeling , a divine energy that one who chants the great holy name Sai Sai Sai alone can experience… Its 11.20 now when i write this beautiful experience. Now my mother has pain in her back. I will apply ayurvedic oil to her chanting Sai Sai Sai…
The third day of chanting sai sai sai was beautiful... Waiting for 4th day…Tommrow is thursday. Temple is going to be crowded. I dont know what time i will go but evening i have to go as i have to take care of lamps tray as hundreds of sai devotees light lamp and also store the coconut offered in drum inside a big wooden box…Thats my work usually…Lets see what happened tommorow… To be continued…
4th Day of chanting Sai Sai SaiHonestly i did the chanting Nicely especially in the evening while standing near the lamps tray and also taking care of the dhuni .I did lost my focus from 9.30 in night because i was depressed that i dont have a job and my parents are worried about me. I came home to see my mother who made a beautiful Garland to Lord Ganesha with Coconut itself. It was so beautiful and i have never see such devotion shown on Lord Ganesha from my amma so innocently offering Garland by tieing the coconuts with strong thread togather. I spoke to my sai friends over phone . This night i remembered Sai baba and slept. I dont want to bore the readers writing more about this day because mostly i was doing physical work for sai in temple.
Day 5 of Chanting Sai Sai Sai :
My Aamma asked me to wake up as she was already preparing to go to Lord Ganesha temple in our colony to offer the Coconut Garland. I told her entire colony people are going to be surprised looking at your new coconut garland. They went to temple and i started playing Shirdi Sai baba Kakad Aarti in my PC.
I started to Nagasai Mandhir in bus..there was this traffic jam so i kept chanting Sai Sai Sai. I was depressed that i dont have a job yet ever since i came back from mumbai. I was thinking if i should go back or do some course here.
My sai friend called up and as i reached the temple it became abig fight as she said ” I dont want to try for a job and do work only in Nagasai mandhir and that am not responsible” . I argued with her saying i donno what to do.Finally our argument went to the extent that she said “Its wrong that your mother gave birth to you as you are not doing any favours to your Mom as a Son”. I was literally shocked .
My resolution to chant Sai Sai Sai was already loosing its track ever since i started this arguement. I also cant bear someone who i trust so much as a friend scolds me like this. I shouted back at her obviously with words i must never use. i dint mean it but i cant bear someone or any man cant bear when someone says “its wrong that your mother gave birth to you as you are not responsible” I went to the tea shop out side the temple and even the man who works there asked me why i was shouting with tension.
I smiled to him and again tried to explain my friend no man can bear such words . In the entire universe no parents will tolerate a son like me who comes around temple for years,do something for Sai always and guiding sai children replying their mails when ever someone mails me . I am not doing much but they know i help people in the name of Saibaba. My lovely parents who never once hurt me for not having a job.
They believed Saibaba will surely show me a way in life. When my own parents are trusting Saibaba and keeping calm, i was literally shocked when my sai friend comments about me born for my mother. She might read this and think i am writing this in article . Well, it shows how much i am hurt.
No one in this world must be jobless like me and finally face a situation where someone who lives far comments about a mother who is innocent, sweet and gave me all the love i need.
As i walked to my house it was 2.45 in the afternoon. I had my lunch fast . Closed my room door, looked at the Shirdi Saibaba photo in my room and cried like hell. Tears flowed as i asked “Baba why did you keep me like this. What did i do.
The world dont and wont respect a man..they world calls me phycho for doing good to all, the world says i am lazy, the world now finally said “Its wrong that your mother gave birth to you” I was litterally dejected,shocked and cant bear that you took me down to this extent in this world . Poeple think they say words to motivate me but in the end is it my mothers fault i am going behind saibaba like this chanting sai sai sai, digging dhuni and sitting inside dhuni tank and filtering udi.
Why i am not like other guys who will hunt for a job, who will wear good dress and show off. who will be very curious in their career and not have one minute for their parents when they are sick. I came down from mumbai as my mom was not well and i wanted to be with her all my life and now this is the price i pay for it. People hurt me asking why my mom gave birth to such a irresponsible son ?
Meditation with tears chanting Sai Sai Sai : I cant bear all this happened. I sat infront of Saibaba and Dattatreya statue in my house. I know they are living with me truly deeply .
I lit lamps and started chanting Sai Sai Sai closing my eyes. Tears started flowing . I holded the saibaba statue and shook him saying baba you have to come to me now and answer me “why i am like this baba” I kissed his holy feet chanting sai sai sai…
I was crying like anything and can feel my body, mind and soul now chanting Saaiiiiiiiii Saiiiiiiiiiiiii Saiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii If i am responsible for me to be like this like a jobless creature, then where is my Gurus intervention in my life. I asked baba show me a way. I dont know what to do.
I cried, I asked what sin my mother did , why you took me down to the day when my close friend whom i respect so much uttered the word” Its wrong your mother gave birth to you” . When i tried to explain why i reacted harsh, she was getting irritated . It was painful when people whom i trust dont understand me. Not even a bit. May be saibaba is teaching me a lesson to lead a detached life. I realized no human being in this world other than my parents can tolerate and give love to a man who is job less.
People never see what i do for Sai as a begger, People see what i do for Sai when i have enough for my family. Yes i need but this time wont come again. The time when you have 20 rupees in pocket and when someone asks you to get washing powder to clean the dwarakamai, you go to the shop and get it and come.
This time wont come again. It wont. Sai loves his devotee to be poor, Job less. Sai samartha satcharita .. Kaka asks saibaba when i will get peace, The time you leave all your work ego pride and take for ALMS i will consider yourself fortunate.
Sai loves when a devotee serves him when he has nothing . I have seen the riches, the great, the big people who build temple, who will do all big offerings etc etc, If they loose little money they will come to Sai with anger. I am happy that i did this to Sai when i literally got nothing for myself nor i asked for it.
This time wont come again. I know someday i also will live a good life and continue to serve saibaba but this beautiful Days when i have nothing in my bank wont come again for life time. If people call me phycho, proud and waste for being born , fine, this is also a gift from Saibaba .
Accepting insults and still serving Saibaba is a test. I kissed the holy feet of Sai..My entire face was red with tears. I cried and cried untill i felt like checking mails and resplying sai devotees. I never thought i will share all my personal feelings here.
Can anyone in this world see what happened between me and my Sai inside a room. I can Hide it but thats not what i have gone through. People can say you are wrong, you dont try for job, you are phycho, you are proud of what you in starsai for sai devtoees, you care irritating, you are dirty fellow. Yes i am..I am dirty for getting down the dhuni tank and coming home everyday as if i have gone to a workshop. How many times my mother compains me about my shirt getting so dark with ashes.
If my love for sai and my believe in Sai is fake and if i am proud for what i do for Saibaba, i can easily sit in temple and return home.
At times i will be sweating so much after cleaning the dhuni place that i will worry how the person sitting near me in bus will feel. To me its sacred, ever atom of udi that fell on me, ever little amount of ashes that fell on my skin is a divine gift.
so i enjoy it but others wont know it. At times i have to wash my shirt myself as i dont want my mother to see the shirt has become so dirt. For such a person, when i am inside the temple itself its my fate that my close friend calls me , gets into a argument to say i am dirtiest fellow on earth.
Am i proud of what i am doing for Sai :
For past 2 days i am asking my self, Am i proud of what i do to you Sai..may be thats the reason i dont get anything in life. Am i proud of what i do in temple.I wont even consider it as a seva. I consider it as a opportunity. If i am sweeping temple, thats a gift, i cant be proud of that.
Its a golden moment of my life. Anyway, Tommorow after 10 years , 50 year sor 1000 years, someone will read what i have gone through.
If i dont write it , then people will then oh that guy Venkat, he was simply doing some physical work in saibaba temple, he was happily coming and going to temple with peace and chanted sai sai sai easily to get all what he wants in his life. I know and believe someday i also will be leading a good life with good career but this time wont come again.
When you suffer and still carry your Sai like a baby in your heart, that time is what saibaba treasures.
Poeple who have a big career , who goes to temple when they get time, chat with their sai friend or gurus and coming back home happily just cant understand the devotion of people who suffer for years and remember sai heart and soul. anyway , its 5.30 evening now, i am starting to Sai baba temple .I am not proud, may be i am happy for the opportunity sai gave me . I wonder why this all happened.
My job less situation led me to the day when people find theres something wrong in my mother whom i love dearly having a son like me. Chanting Sai Sai Sai…My mother has gone with padma aunty to get some ornament for Lord Hanuman in jewellery shop . I gave udi water to her .
What’s responsibility of a Son :
People always have a wrong idea that
Job= M0ney = Love = happiness.
No . Sometime before 2 years my mother had severe pain in her leg and her nevers were pulling. I took her to my room, lit all thr 8 lamps and told her,” i have come around dhuni for lakhs of times, my mothers leg will be fine, You will be able to walk from morning” Then i took her to her room…I sat near her chanting Saibabas name all night. I dint slept for a moment. I was helping her all the night to make sure she takes rest forgetting the pain and i know when we keep remembering Sai, Saibaba will surely heal us and he did heal my Amma.
As i kept chanting Saibabas mantra, i saw the day light breaking from the window. I cant believe i was awake all night .Even when i take a resolution to chant Sai Sai Sai for a week i dint do it properly. When my mom is sick i was able to do.
It was 7 o clock in the morning, my mother woke up, joined her palm togather and with tears in her eyes said “i have done some punya in my previous janma to have you as my son”.
I cried to her because i know any other So called this practical man with BIG BIG BIG career will immediately rush to hospital . Ofcourse i know i am not practical and i have no money to give treatment to my mother and sai dint gave me that thought too.
I know my Sai will heal my Amma and my affection for my amma made me sit near her for the entire night singing Saibabas leela. For all of you who think
CAREER = PROFIT = LOVE = HAPPINESS
probably its true in many cases. For people like me who are named eecentric, phycho and mad, the equation is
Sai = Sai = Sai = Love = Happiness.
The love and happiness that Sai gave my mother that morning cant match even if i earn a million dollars and put it on her feet. I am not responsible because i am venkat and people find i am not responsible because “They dont know where kept the Sai in me. ” I think when i angrily sat for meditation i asked saibaba, You have to come into me today and Sai did came .
Sai came through my words..every single word i wrote about the day 5 of chanting Sai Sai Sai came from Saibaba of Shirdi. Its Sai living in me, in you and in everyone of us. The sai who lives in me is deeply rooted with my heart , mind,body and soul Lets chant togather Sai Sai Sai..
Sixth Day of Chanting Sai Sai Sai : 28 :11:2009
Let me be short and sweet. Did good chanting today all the time. By evening went to Nagasai mandhir. The tube light was not working near the dhuni place where they kept a Dwarakamai Saibaba photo. So me, Ramanujam and the watchman togather were trying to fix it . I told them i wont go out unless the Light comes here. Finally it was working.
Yesturday i had got a Saibaba photo as if Sai is sitting under a tree and blessing with his palm painting to my friends sisters wedding to keep it on the wedding stage. Today we kept it near the Nagasai, took it back along with garland and carried to the marriage hall. It took 2 hours for me, Ramanujam,prem, vijaykumar and udaykumar to fix it on the stage.
I was chanting Sai Sai Sai in mind always. I was worried about what i am going to do and this thought cant be avoided as thats my situation. I offered 50 rupees in the holy feets of shirdi saibaba in the sai temple in my house. Lets see what happens tommorow Om sainathaya namaha
Seventh Day of Chanting Sai Sai Sai
29 : 11 :2009
It was beautiful day as i did abishekam ( holy bath ) to Lord Ganesha, Goddess Mahalakshmi, Goddess Saraswathi, Shiva lingam with Nagam , Paadhukas of Sai , the beautiful Saibaba you see in all photos and my sweet sweet Lord Dattatreya.
I asked my mother to give Milk to do milk abishekam and did it wonderfully. Then i lit lamps n prayed. I went to Nagasai mandhir, came around dhuni and offered some fire woods in dhuni. The priest came from main hall before madhyana aarti with a bucket of naivaidya ( food offering ).
Usually they keep it near Dhuni Baba and then offer it in the fire. Somehow since the priest just kept the bucket near dhuni baba, Sai gave me a sweet opportunity to offer the rice my self in the holy dhuni ( sacred fire of sai baba )
I told baba “Babaaaaa Nalla saapudu saibabaaaaaaaaa”
“Babaaaaaaaaaa eat well babaaaaaaaaa”
I always say this very affectionately in a tone that i feel will melt saibabas heart .
Babaaaaaaaaaaaaa did you have food today ? What did you have ?
Then after the madhyana aarti is over, i asked the dhuni priest to come with me to the bakery near by to have some tea. We had it and i returned home chanting Sai Sai Sai. I lit all the 12 lamps in my house in the evening and started to Nagasai mandhir.
It was Pradosham, a auspicious day for Lord Shiva. So i lit lamps as usual in lamps tray near dhuni , went to the temple behind the Nagasai mandhir , bowed to Lord Shiva, had wonderful darshan of Nagasai and came back near dhuni. Since the tube light near Thulasi plant was not working, i decided to go to Shakti dhaam temple ( a north indian temple few minutes walk )
Darshan of Lord Shiva, shakti , Ram,Sita, Radhe Krishna and Hanuman in Shakti Dhaam temple :
As i entered the shakti dhaam temple chanting Sai Sai Sai exactly they were showing Aarti to Shiv Ling. It was wonderful to see Lord Hanuman being praised in the aarti. Then i loved to hear the song sung by the priest sitting near goddess Shakti “Thvame va maatha , pithaa thvame va..”
The hanuman mandhir priest is my friend. He told me you have come after many days. I said am doing a small effort like chanting Sai Sai Sai for 7 days . Its final day so i came. When i speak also i try to make my mind chant Sai Sai Sai. it comes by practice. Then i was walking all over saibaba colony looking for ashop to get tube light starter. As it was sunday.No shop was open.
Then i suddenly met a elderly devotee whos father and relatives has served Nagasai mandhir from 1940s . I told him am trying to chant Sai Sai Sai past 7 days. He said what about night. I said am doing it very simple manner. No hard and fast rules.
He told me not to mind but gave me a advice He said theres something called Naam saptha Sankalpa
Like we have to say “Baba today from morning 6 to afternoon 3 o clock i will be contineously chanting your name or any little chanting mantra. It must be done with out a break.
I felt like writing this because honestly what i did was a very easy one with no hard n fast rules. i just wanted to show people anyone with any problem must atleast TRY TRY to chant saibabas name.
There are people who call them selves as sevaks who are expert in chanting contineously. lets say a example. The elderly devotee said, Once he was in a group where they chant Om sai sri sai jaya jaya sai contineously for a week. One night all the devotees took rest and he was the only one chanting Om sai sri sai jaya jaya sayee..
He had a urge to urinate and called the person who arranged the Naam sapthaha with little finger up meaning he wanna go for toilet. The chief dint understood. so he took a paper and wrote “I want to go to bathroom” The moment he wrote it, the chief started chanting Om sai sri Sai Jaya jaya saayee and let this elderly devotee go for his call of nature.
My effort to chant Sai Sai Sai is childish :
Friends, i honestly accept that what ever i did these 7 days was just a childish effort. My intention is to prove people, any ordinary sai devotee to try this when they have any problems in life. Dont limit this for 7 days. Do it for life time when ever you are free or doing odd work let your mind be practiced to chant Sai Sai Sai.
Came back to Saibaba temple :
Finally by 8.20 at night i was back in Saibaba temple. I went near the dhuni to my utter shock that little amount of fire was catching even on the top corner of the dhuni Door. It happens at times in 2005 but these days i have never seen such thing.
I silently went to the flower shop, took a bucket of water and put off the fire. Then i cleaned the floor near dhuni with a sack and paper. The shej aarti was over and i was preparing to leave the temple when something happened like many devotees togather hurt one women devotee and she was shouting .
I am not with any of these groups but this is first time i have seen such a incident inside the temple campus. While this problem was going on between a family and group of devotees, i looked at Dhuni and did a prayer “Let every Shirdi Saibaba temple in the entire world have a peaceful atmosphere, let everyone who do seva to you do it with out ego that “I am doing it” .
Let no women ever for any reason even if shes wrong be insulted in public inside your temple” I was in silence . It was me and my saibaba there . I looked at the fire in dhuni. It was beautiful. I dont want anyone to be hurt and i learnt few lessons on the 7th day of my chanting .
1.God is One – Respect all Gurus but dont blame other gurus with harsh words. Be soft in what ever you speak and doRespect Shirdi Saibaba but never ever publicly argue that other gurus are wrong or bad if at all the necessity araises. For us shirdi saibaba devotees, we are gifted to have Sai as our guru.
So let us not think people who follow other gurus are wrong. May be their karma is such that they have to be with that Guru we cant force them or say they are wrong in public. Theres a gentle way to say our views to close friends .
2.Offer your Body, mind and soul in the holy feet of shirdi saibabaWhen ever you do any seva to shirdi saibaba or to humanity, do it with a feeling that its Sai who lives in you working through you .
you never did anything to be proud of. Just because i clean the dhuni i must not think “oh see i do it” . I must only be thankful to sai and all devotees who smile to me and do little adjustment while i do it. Same for everyone who does any good deed. Lets do it in the name of God without any need for results not even a appreciation.
3. Doing good in saibaba temple is just a spark to continue our service in society and family
Chanting Sai Sai Sai is just one way of showing our love on saibaba. Some people can do it. If you cant do it. Its ok . you might find a better way to show devotion on saibaba. Once my mother told me , giving prasad in saibaba temple to devotees is not a big seva.
One must help relatives or friends children in education if they need it, One can guide others for a good career etc. This way sai devotees now a days must not be attracted to just what they do in temple and be proud of it.
Every Saibaba temple is a school, Shirdi is our University where we learn the beautiful life of Saibaba and apply it in our life
Trust me friends many times saibaba has shown me a dream where i have seen Nagasai Mandhir as a school and all sai devotees as children.
I feel every sai mandhir is a school for us. Shirdi is our university head quarters. When we go to shirdi, we do good.People go here and there to ask where i can donate, to whom i can give food, can i give infront of dwarkamai, can i feed milk to dogs, can i build a ashram here ….
why so many good thoughts come when you are in shirdi alone. Once you take your bus and train back to hometown you might not get same feelings. Lets see this way friends.
Lets keep shirdi , Dwarakamai and saibabas samadhi mandhir as a school. We go there to learn sai , sai life, his good deeds, sai leela and from what we learn there lets apply it where ever we do. Let it be Akola, Arupukotai , America or australia.
Where ever a True Sai devotee who takes saibabas name in his heart and lips goes, Sai goes with him.
All these 7 days i din’t do Sai Sai Sai chanting alone . I was leading my life, talking on phone and doing odd works. Then also i have satisfaction that i did try something. Why. This is a example to prove that in Sai devotion theres no RULES.
if you have pure thoughts and take just one step to be devoted to saibaba, it makes saibaba happy. When saibaba is happy, you will surely get a feeling of satisfaction.
My request to who ever read this article fully is
1.Its very easy to chant Sai Sai Sai. You can also chant any other mantra of sai like
Om sai sri sai jaya jaya saayee
Om sri sainathaya namaha
Om sri sai ram
simply Sai Sai Sai
You need not chant loudly, simply make your mind chant or with lips with low voice. this is very effective.
Living with Sai Sai Sai for 7 days :
I pray saibaba of shirdi to bless the devotee who read this article from top to bottom. When you read this itself you are blessed as the holy name Sai Sai Sai is written many times in this article. I pray your family be blessed .
Sai forgive me for my mistakes : In any spiritual effort i took in saibabas name i do it with childish affection on saibaba. So i stood near dhuni prayed for my parents, sister, brother in law and their baby.
Then i prayed for all my sai friends who are part of StarSai family. I told to sai looking at dhuni “Sai forgive me if i had dont mistakes in doing this effort to chant Sai Sai Sai, i did as much as i can ….
I came back to house…. Its been 2 days . Tommorow is Dattatreya Jayanthi – December 1st 2009. I was sitting near dhuni and my sai friend Gopi sir called from shirdi and reminded me that Tommorow is Datta jayanthi and i thanked him.
The Sai Sai Sai chanting goes on for life time.
Sai , you are my heart, You are my soul and i will love you and wish you bless me to love you and spread your love to sai children all my life. As i dig the fire in dhuni to make the ashes go down the tank today, i told baba,
“Baba idhu podhum enaku”
Sai , This is enough for me.
I am happy Coming to your temple, Cleaning dwarakamai, digging dhuni, Lighting lamps, cleaning the lamps tray, Offering flowers, doing little works the priest and other devotees ask me to do and then chanting sai sai sai …
when ever a devotee speaks to me about saibaba, i learn.
This a school and the learning never stops.
Sai You are my heart
You are my soul
29 : 11 :2009
You can mail me personally from email id in Home page of StarSai.com about how this Naam saptah experience helped you.
Edit: How I got Job?
Many Sai devotees ask me if I got a Job after I wrote this article. Yes I did. One reason I don’t wanted to write about it is because people will then question Saibaba “You did it for Venkat. Why not me?”
Trust me.It was not easy life even after these kind of devotion on Sai. I never had a regular job right from my graduation. I was mostly a freelancer and never felt like working for an organization. I had little knowledge and always wanted to be an Entrepreneur. Only after a decade I realized its better to work for an organization.
Now a days, people get really frustrated when they can’t get a job. Listen. Can you wait 10 years. I did that. Mean while, I had to face so many insults as I always wanted to be in a creative field. I wanted to be Filmmaker. It never happened. I was a freelancer. I was teaching in Film School and seems Sai has other plans for me.
I did some freelancing work as before from 2009 to 2011. I was doing my MBA and din’t earn much as market was not before as I started earlier in 2003. Some time in June 2011, I had a dream as if Saibaba is telling from Samadhi mandhir “You will get a gift”.
Later, I again faced disappointment. I was wondering why again I fail when Sai assured me. Finally, my sister’s Father in law, introduced me to his students ( who considered him as his Guru) and I got a Job in an IT concern where I work now.
I am happy in my present job. Meaning. I am OK with it as its in my hometown but I don’t earn much and am not worried about it. The only time I worry is when some uncomfortable things happens at work and I have to adjust it. Many times, I wanted to quit and explore other opportunities but I won’t do it as long as Sai don’t approve.
Its a Job Saibaba gave as a gift. So as long as Sai wants me to continue in this job, I will do it sincerely. I know Sai has better plans for me. My time hasn’t come.
Many people get fed up in their career issues. I wanted to do something creative to inspire and motivate them. I want you to be confident and never get fed up with rejection. 1000 people will reject you. Keep enhancing your knowledge and skills. Keep learning something new everyday in your field of interest.
Someday, Your life will be good.
Hope this answers everyone.
Sai Ki Jai