On December 23rd 2016 StarSai silently ran through its 12th year and stepped into its 13th year. Thanks for all the trust and love many of you had shown on me over the years and encouraged me to do little I can for Sai Children. I had some good happenings in 2016 but the most painful was the dream I had from Sepetember 2016 which made me write to someone at work. Its not just one dream. If it was a single dream, I would have ignored it. It was a chain of over 15 dreams over a period of 4 month. Most of my articles touched this story as it confused me to core. I trust Sai’s words and live by it even if it has nothing to do with reality. Only the past 10 days, I did not had any dreams related to it especially since I slept too late or probably Sai remained silent.
While my friend was dropping me in his car few days back, I told him that I will be happy if this girl gets enggaged and marries the guy she likes as soon as possible. He told me that’s not the right attitude because people will marry when comfortable situation arises and not just because I want a practical end to it.
Its easy for Sai to say something in dream but hard for me to survive in this environment. Sai can’t embarrass me like this and wonder why he did this to me? I just need a clarification for all these happenings for the kind of devotion I show on Saibaba, I felt let down.
This morning, I had a dream in which Baba showed a girl and her Mother tells me “My daughter is going to marry someone she knows personally”. I don’t wanna write it eloborately. Later, I got another message from Saibaba. I am not going to say what? I am still confused but took it as Sai’s grace on me. I also saw another dream which was very divine and hence I decided to go to Marudhamalai and worship Lord Murugan today.
I woke up and my Mom asked me to get little Ganesha statue and Rangoli sticker for my Sister’s new home in the U.S. One of my Aunt is coming from U.S and we have to send few snacks and other stuff for my Sister and Katya. I spent all the day going around in car listening to songs I love repeatedly. I am trying not to be addicted to songs while driving though.
I went to Marudhamalai Murugan temple and felt really happy. The priest there enquired about my parents and gave me prasad. I saw holy bath – Abishekam of Lord Murugan. I felt truly divine and blissful. Murugan has been very kind to me and he calls me in dream. I even wondered if I am so pure that Murugan could call me to his temple in dream? I am not so pure Baba and I know that for sure.
Three weeks back, I had a dream related to my Mother. I could not understand that. At office, I have a habit of requesting one of my friend to suggest me a song of the day and it must be a very good Hindi song. He told me a song from the movie Mission Kashmir – So Ja chanda. Oh God…I was mesmerised by this song. I kept listening to it and told him that I will make a simple video with that song and I did!
Ma….You must understand anger is an expression of love
These days, my Ma tells me that I often get angry on her and she too get upset with me. Doesn’t she understand I love her dearly but sometimes I just get irritated with her. I wanted to make a simple video dedicated to every Mother on Earth. I can’t do much. Last weekend, I told my Mom that I am going to film what ever she’s doing in Kitchen and did that. Later, I asked her to spare 20 minutes to shoot a close up shot of her eye. Couple of years back, I made a short film in which I wrote this dialogue
“You can count the Stars in the Sky…You can’t count the Dosa my Mom made for me”
My Mom made Puri and then I forced her to make Dosa in the afternoon for me as I wanted those shots. I went to office on Sunday evening as my editing system at home wasn’t working good. I edited it and felt really satisfied. I wish I could use an original sound track but that gets expensive.
So here’s it.
My Ma asked me what are you going to do photographing me cutting beans and also my Eyes. My eyes are worn out. You must photograph eyes of little girls.
But I honestly felt every Mother’s eye has a story to tell. A story of how much she loves you and cares for you.
Look into your Mom’s eye. You will see yourself.
I receive so many mails from Sai devotees telling me they are worried about their parents health. I have a request. When your parents are in good health, celebrate them and bring happiness into their heart. My Sister has always made my parents proud but I have failed to do that. Sometimes, Its just not enough for anyone if you simply say it with words.
10 days back, I was really disturbed because 4-5 people adviced me that I am always talking in English and not respecting my Mother tongue Tamil . They also said I am speaking too harshly which hurt me a lot. I might sound harsh but that’s not my nature at all. I care for everyone. May be, when I speak shouting, people think I am too harsh. And then, some even commented why should I care for girls so much?
Well. Its a personal thing. In the past 12 years, only girls and women had mailed, told their very personal story and asked me for guidance. Some became very good friends of mine. Most suddenly disappear as they get busy with their life. When you listen to stories from so many girls, you naturally learn so much about what a Women in this country are going through and begin to care for them. Ofcourse, Men do write to me but I understood Men try to keep things to themseleves or they feel its better to share their problems to friends they meet in person.
Since I kept having dreams of Lord Murugan who is known as “Tamil God”, I felt like doing something for Tamil and made a simple video requesting many people in office to say the word “Tamil”. It was so kind of few girls to help me make the video though they don’t even know what I am trying to do.
Three years back, Sai showed me a dream of Tamil Thai Vazhthu when I completed reading a 800 Page book of Sai’s life. So I edited the video to that song.
Guys usually don’t mind appearing on Video but girls do. Irrespective of that, some did helped me. I just felt little concerned that I could not personally thank each one of them. I did thanked when ever I come across them.
I have planned a lot for this new year and also bought a Microphone for my DSLR Camera. I plan to appear in Video and read few stories in Sai Satcharita because few complained me that its not interesting if I simply show Dhuni’s fire and lamp in my videos. Human faces are better but I also don’t wanna appear on video. I tried lighting with mobile and felt its better If I appear as if I am in darkness. So coming soon..Lots of Sai story videos!
This New Year!
Celebrate your Mom
Happy New Year friends!
I wrote this article previously
One of my Sai friend Roop Darshini was happy to see that I requested everyone to use their skills for Saibaba and sent me the simple drawing she did. I liked it a lot personally. In Nagasai Mandir, there’s a painting behind the main statue. I am pretty sure it was done by an amature artist decades back but its so divine and blissful. So I always appreciate such little works.
Om Sai Ram
Always in the holy feet of Shirdi Saibaba
Write to venkat
Hey! Going Nagasai Mandir now..Someone called me and asked me to do photography of the main Saibaba statue there..On the way in 20 minutes!