Last night, I started writing. Eventually, I had to express how much humiliation and embarrassment I had to go through because of some girl Sai showed in dream. All this for innocently or playfully trusting Sai dreams and leading a life based on Sai’s words. I had never suffered so much all my life. Atleast, this must not happen to any other devotee. Its easy for Sai to say something and make me react without thinking twice.
Now, I can’t prove what I had experienced to anyone. I also don’t know why I had to go through this. I wake up late at night and shed tears saying I need to know Sai’s intention in showing me such dreams. Where did I go wrong Sai? What did I got in the end? I only got confused.
Lost the very last inch of assumption that “I am good” and lost myself in search of an answer from Sai.
Wish I could disappear from this place I work.
I wish to ask my Sister to help me get U.S Visa. I never had any idea to travel. But my Mom had always asked me to take care of my Sister when She needs me most. There must not be a situation where my Sister needs my help and I can’t be there for her.
I am missing my Sister a lot these days.
Keep chanting Sai Sai Sai in mind.
What ever happened to me, let me be the last Sai devotee to experience this. I don’t want anyone else to get go through the trauma I had to go through the past few month.