I usually have a festive mood atleast during Diwali but this year, I don’t even know when Diwali falls. One of this guy at work came to wish me. I wished him back and asked “Is it on Friday or Saturday?”. After that I too wished few of my friends but deep inside it was very odd when you say “Happy Diwali”.
So what does it mean. You mean to say “You have a great time this Diwali? Is it? I started thinking too mechanical these days because happiness means a lot more than celebrating on a purticular day.
What’s there in NagaSai Mandir? I really don’t know. On Thursday evening, some of us started to our friend’s daughter’s first birthday. I too wanted to go but on the way, there was traffic jam. I was listening to songs in my Car and singing. “Do you belive in Life after love” by Cher. I tried to keep myself cool but as I realized its going to get too late in my friends home and reach temple, I got really frustrated. I used all possible ways to convince myself that its important to go to a friends place as he invited. And going to temple alone is not life. But I still felt as if the whole day is wasted. I was happy to see my friends kid. She was cute!
I even asked myself “What are you going to do in Saibaba temple?”. Only on very few days, I actually join my friends to do some service like cleaning, distributing prasad etc. Most of the time, I simply roam around, walk here and there, sit in a corner and read some books or hum a Sai bhajan.
I don’t even sit in main hall during Aarti. I simply walk here and there. I just love Dwarakamai and Dhuni so much.
What happiness I get in this? May be, its the environment. I like this place. I feel that Sai also enjoys me that I am inside his temple. That’s it.
I behave very strange even in Shirdi. Many people will go darshan for multiple times if the crowd is less.I will be happy with one darshan. Later, I start to walk 3-4 Kms from the main road. I walk to Sivanesan Swamiji Samadhi in Pimpalwadi road. I sit there few minutes. I like to stand outside Dwarakamai and simply imagine how it would have been during Baba’s life time.
I woke up this morning and packed with lots of “To Do’s” from my parents.
- Have to call up DHL to send snacks to my Sister and Katya.
American’s love branded goods. So they believe anything packed inside branded cover has all rights to enter their country. The guys in DHL said “You can send home made snacks but it must be in branded covers”. Super!
2. Had to buy few stuff
and lots more To Do’s. If I don’t do it, I am not responsible. I did all that and came back home.
Offering to Lord Shiva
When my Father was not well, my Mom prayed that we offer a Kavasham on the top of Shiv Ling. So today, we offered it in the temple near by.
Thanks for all your love my Sweet Sai Children
I have never revealed this before.
One of the reason I try to portray myself negatively calling myself as “Fraud” and writing articles like this – I am not pure is because I wanted to avoid few complications. Most mails I get from devotees are about their problems in life. Some devotees write me thanking for StarSai. Some devotees simply share their experiences with Saibaba. The most surprising of all mails is that when I start to get close to any of my Sai friends, some of them start to like me. This is not bad but really scares me. Bayama Iruku Sai…
You live too far from me. Your life might be more sophisticated than mine
Firstly, I look very ordinary. I also lead a very simple life. You may not like me eventually because of all my shortcomings. May be, You just feel that I am good. I too wish to marry a girl who loves Sai but honestly, I am very adamant in this issue. Else, I would have married long back. I will only take one step ahead if Sai tells me something about a girl. I have reasons to behave like this. I suffered enough in my past and have to be careful. I can’t do anything without Sai’s guidance. So give me some time. Please.
In the past one month, most of my articles are about the problems I am going through in relationship. I felt really embarrassed for being too open about my personal life. So some of you write me as if you like me. I too like you but I see most of my Sai friends as my little Sis. That’s how Sai wants me to see his children. Like a Sis or a Mother if they are elder than me.
When ever I get such mails from someone in Delhi, Jabalpur, Mumbai, Andhra, U.P, Kerala, I ask just one thing to Saibaba
“Are there no girls in Coimbatore Sai?” he he….
I tried not to reveal this but already I am suffering for unknown sins I would have done in previous births. I feel little bad of myself for ignoring such wonderful Sai children. I love you a lot but this love is different. Its a kind of Care I have on you since we all are united by Sai.
I also have an example – I know this girl in Delhi for more than 5-6 years. We are good friends. Once, I even asked her if we should marry? She told me that she likes to settle in Delhi and she knew I like to live in Coimbatore. So she told me, lets just be friends. It make sense to me.
The other day, one of my friend at work came to Saibaba temple near office. He looked at so many girls and asked “Can’t Saibaba bring one in your life?”. I told him “I know lot many girls across length and breath of India but their life is different from mine and hence they are just my friends”.
And most importantly….How do you tell a girl you like her when she respects you a lot?
Even during March 2016 visit to Shirdi, a friend who lives in Shirdi and knows me for over 8 years told me
“Venkat. It’s not wise to marry a girl whom you know through StarSai because they all respect you a lot.”
He means to say “They will have high expectation on you and cannot tolerate your short-comings.”
Anyway..Being Diwali, I take this opportunity to thank Sai for keeping me safe surrounded by so many of his wonderful Children. As I always say “Brother for everyone. Husband for none” . This quote matches me most. Though I act as if I don’t like to be a brother in some cases, I really like someone who calls me “Anna..Bhai” etc. I just wish it comes from heart.
Adding to that, I have another set of elderly Sai friends who suddenly message me and ask “Venkat..Are you OK with Marwari girl? I know one in Bangalore?”
A Sai friend in Singapore once asked me if I like a girl she knew. Most of you are trying to help me but honestly, though I speak about relationship stuff, when someone suddenly asks me, I get scared. I want to be slow and calm.
Yen enn mela ivlo care? Most of you have not seen me at all and some of you know me just for few days. I have very painfully avoided such surprising messages and mails. I feel very inhuman when I say “No” but please don’t take me wrong. I always tell this to my parents “Give some time to Saibaba.”
I have some Auntyji friends who will read this and very caringly mail me “Venkat..Why don’t you consider these girls who write you?” Please. Stop it if you have already started to write.
I fall in your feet. Trust me. I will marry. I promise I will.
I will surely get married. Don’t worry so much about me. I know you all care for me but hold on. Sai has his own plans.
After my Shirdi visit in March 2016, I started writing articles too freaky like using Hindi song lyrics, writing about girls I come across believing people will think I am not so pure. I assumed calling myself as “Fraud” and “Bad” will reduce such mails but it has only increased and that surprises me. Anyway. I have to get married atleast to avoid all these complications.
Let’s come to the theme of the article
This Diwali, Sai blessed me with a Sai Satcharita
I went to Saibaba temple tonight and was roaming here and there. I stood near Dwarakamai and looked at Saibaba. I was speaking in my heart to him. Later, I was speaking to my friend who was arranging prasad. Suddenly, I noticed a Sai Satcharita book on the floor. It seems to have been left by some devotee but how can they be so careless. The cover of the book was dirty too.
I immediately took the book in my palm, opened it and asked my friend “Shall I take it home?” He said “Yes. You must because look how they carelessly dropped it down in floor. You will keep it safe”.
I was so depressed due to an issue but I walked to Dwarakamai, sat in the steps and started to read Sai’s life.
This is really surprising because only before 2 weeks, I completed reading Sai’s life for someone. Now, Again, I started to read. May be, Sai wants me to read Sai Satcharita again and again. Baba. Don’t mind me but I get bored to read the complete book.. I like to read few pages a moment but reading of whole Sai Satcharita as parayan makes me impatient.
Obviously, I know the value of reading Sai Satcharita. So I force myself to give all concentration and dedication when ever I read Sai’ Life.
Here’s the gift Sai gave me
I took photo of the book along with the photo inside the book. If any of you believe its your book, feel free to write me but that probability is very less because “Sai gave it to me. Its mine now” he he….
I wish you too start your Diwali remembering the divine stories of Saibaba.
I will be pleased if you have time to watch the video I made to inspire you to light lamps – Shirdi Saibaba loves lighting lamps
Happy Diwali friends