Sairam friends,
I have always been someone who cares for Women and most of the articles in StarSai have something related to being good to a Women and Children. When I see myself, I realized why am I suffering? Is it not because few girls have really hurt me in the past? When ever any girl hurts me, I react too harsh, shout at them or message them, “You hurt me, Sai is watching all this” . Honestly, Once I do this, I feel if I am behaving too Childish?
Saibaba has always expected us to be calm and move on when someone hurts us. The problem is when someone whom we love dearly hurts us, we can’t bear it, take it too personal and immediately show our anger on them. I do it with my parents even when they love me so much. I hope I don’t do it with the girl I marry and if I have to, I must make sure the girl I marry doesn’t behave too rude and harsh. I keep praying Saibaba to bless me with a peaceful life and the girl who knows me well for what I am.
I fear that because of the sins I might have done in previous birth, I might have to face suffering hence I keep doing little good deeds as much as I can.
I am not the one who is proud of my harsh words when I am angry. I basically can’t hate someone for more than a hour or Day. After speaking, I try to pacify but words once given can’t be taken back. So I have to change my Habit and Nature.
I hurt one of my best friend yesterday and felt too painful, tried to cool her down. She said “First you realize your mistakes?” Being a Sai devotee and writing for welfare of everyone doesn’t make me all perfect which is why I call myself as an “Ordinary Indian”.
I am not dominating but Possessive and expect my girl for me only. Don’t do this, don’t do that, Why you never attend my call? . I feel its better to give up being possessive with someone who doesn’t care for our feelings and let them live in peace. The problem is if I am married, I might be too possessive about my wife which might hurt her freedom. I pray Sai to bless me with a girl who like being possessive. The one who realizes being possessive and vulnerable is “Love”.
“You are in Love, when you are Possessive and Vulnerable”
You can’t bear any harsh words and behavior from someone you really care for.
Anyway, I realized not to write anything that personally hurts anyone in StarSai. It was too embarrassing and childish. This is a Temple and who ever comes here must feel the presence of Sai and Gods they love.
Wife Harassing Husband and his family
From ancient times, there are families in which the Wife will treat her husband and his family members too badly. Have you see films where women are portrayed as bad girl and who is too harsh to her husband and ill-treats him? Its really happening in many families even today.
Many divorce happens because of problems in the Man’s nature but few really happens due to the behavior of wife and her family members. I am not supporting husbands who are to selfish and blame their wife for everything. I had a student in Mumbai who used to cry telling her Husband is too harsh to her. Her name is Krishna and I used to ask her what happened? She said, “Yesterday, My husband wrote a huge list of what all mistakes I do and wanted to show it to my parents”
Listen..How can you list out the mistakes a wife does and read it to her parents?
Try to realize the mistakes in you and see if you both can live in peace.
Being Good Wife
Now coming to the wives who are really treating their husbands harshly, I wanted to say this. Our culture, Tradition and all the holy scriptures speaks about a Women’s devotion towards her husband.
A wife who loves her husband and cares for him and his family are really blessed and are considered as Divine.
There are so many beautiful goodhearted wives in India and around the world because of which the Home is always a beautiful place to live in.
At times, You are always most welcome to be harsh or scold your husband when he does something wrong but one must not ill-treat her husband and his family for the sake of Moving to another relationship, Money and other issues.
There are wife who ill-treat husband for not earning enough, not being in a good status and for not being well educated etc. Try to work on things that can make your husband better and grow as a human being instead of harassing him.
I am not supporting men who drink and who have relationship with other women but there are wives who doubts no matter what her husband does. One of my friend did his Phd in IIT and got married. His wife used to ask her friends working in his office to see if he is behaving properly. They got separated and finally after many month they re-united for the sake of their baby.
The worst part is even the wives family joins to treat her husband badly.
Durga Saptshati
The sacred Mantra of Goddess Durga which has 700 Mantra is very powerful one. One of the person who’s story comes in Durga Saptshati will be harassed by his wife and also his children. Finally in the end, they will ask him to be detached and lead a simple saintly life. The moral is, some amount of detachment is necessary in every relationship.
You become too dominating and demanding when you are too caring and possessive. Be detached when you really get angry on your wife, husband or children. Stay away from them and remain calm. Chances are they will realize your love and come back to you.
I started writing this article because legally both in India and abroad, When a wife gives complaint against her husband, only the husband and his family are treated harshly by Law and police. There are very shocking stories. One of the girl who got married and moved to U.S , kept talking to her boy friend. Her husband felt too painful and asked her not to do it. The girl has replied, She will call 911 and the guy was shocked.
One of my Sisters friend could not marry his present girl friend as his ex-girl friend gave a complaint against him. He is a good man but have to face consequences of his past relationship. Similarly, There are thousands of husbands who are facing pain due to the misuse of law.
I can’t help them and don’t encourage any mails etc. All I can provide is spiritual guidance.
Be Detached
Keep chanting Gods name or simply chant Sairam, Sairam Sairam if you love shirdi saibaba
Listen or Read any Durga Mantra
Durga wards of all the evil in your life and blesses you with good life
Durga Saptshati is not easy to read. So at least show devotion on Goddess Durga by listening to any good mantra you like.
A Family is made of understanding couples and both must give respect to each other and lead a pure, simple life.
Worship Goddess Durga and Lord Ganesha – Remedy for Lord Rahu and Ketu effects in life
Jai Mata Di – Durga Devi / Narayani Stuti
Being Good wife is not something one can preach. It comes naturally. There are so many good wives and Mothers around the world who sacrifice their life time for welfare of their family. I wrote this article especially for some women who might realize their mistakes if they have treated their husband or his family members harshly. I see there’s something good in every man, women and child and show them a way for better living.
For people who are already divorced or separated, Please don’t think of the past and try to see if you can involve in any good deeds and to make your life better. I don’t encourage mails related to this topic.I suggest you worship Shirdi Sai Baba and Goddess Durga to bless you with good life.
Its something I wrote for sai devotees to lead a simple happy family life.
Note: This article is must not be used to blackmail a girl telling see, Sai wants you to respect me and my family or else Sai will not be pleased with you. There are men who are really using all possible ways to dominate a girl. My intention is to make sure we also have articles which Inspires a women to respect her Husband and consider few close relatives as one with her family. There might be issues like Husband wants to educate one of his relatives etc which wife might consider.
My writings can never give solutions because I don’t do any real counseling. What I try to do is to spread awareness so that people who are in verge of being good or bad to actually take the Good path and lead a peaceful happy life and live in harmony.
Sai Blessings
Venkat
